Kansas City

[Will:] I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y By Sattidy I larned a thing or two 'Coz up to then I didn't have an idy Of whut the modren world was comin' to! I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk 'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone And a strange womern started in to talk! [Man 1:] To you? [Man 2:] Whut next! [Men:] Yeah whut! [Will:] Whut next? Gather 'round! Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high About as high as a buildin' orta grow Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City It's better than a magic lantern show! Y' c'n turn the radiator on Whenever you want some heat With ev'ry kind o' comfort Ev'ry house is all complete You c'n walk to privies in the rain And never wet your feet! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go [Men:] Yes sir! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! [Will:] Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They got a big theayter they call a burleeque Fer fifty cents you c'n see a dandy show [Man 1:] Gals? [Will:] One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty As round above as she was round below I could swear that she was padded From her shoulder to her heel But latter in the second act When she began to peel She proved that ev'rythin' she had was absolutely real! She went about as fur as she could go [Men:] Yes sir! She went about as fur as she could go!