Is This Life?

Let them know Let them know Ya know Okay From growing up poor Seeing what they all got, making me want more My life was shit, yeah I been through it all Never needed room service for no wake up call Is this life? I'm still not sure Used to be love sick over girls then I found the cure Was a lot of shit trying to get my foot in the door But grass only come out greener with a little manure So I take that detour, I hit the record And fames allure only made me more insecure Especially when it's premature and I ain't mature And my whole life was spent in doubt and feeling so unsure Cause when you're the only person that believes in yourself Everyday feels like you're going through hell So don't try to tell me I don't deserve Heaven That'll make me 180, pull a 187 I told everyone I love I'mma buy them nice things So it seems if I fail, I let down both our dreams I had a team, they gave up on me Kind of friends are those? That change they minds like bitches change clothes But maybe I'm not the same Nove? But it's bros before hoes Unless your bros become hoes You know? So, please don't call my phone Tell people you know me, the old me Or brag how we was homies When I make it, just be complacent In your choice to not stick with me When shit got risky with wealth When I was trying to help And you still ain't did shit with yourself Because I'm going to make it, don't worry about me Further I get, little further I see and I know It's just a road from here It's just a road from here That ain't the chorus, it just need some singing Oh shit, wait a second, oh, we reconvening? Cause I was scheming, thinking of my next move And I was beaming, fighting what the stress do, yeah It's a lot of work acting like the coolest guy When "Save Me" was my song about suicide Made some mistakes, but how new was I? Look at my first mixtape, how true was I? There's nothing fake, listen, escape and truly vibe And you'll completely understand why they truly lie I'm so unruly, I ratio tears to laughs Why am I so angry? Well, why the fuck would you ask?!? Cause it's hard enough living, let alone staying on task While people who worked this hard to a half are having a blast While I'm constantly depressed, having lots to say Almost feeling like if I make it, I hope it stay this was Cause I don't want to lose my balance for the hatred's green When you can't purchase passion or important things And Grandma, shit, I ain't trying to seem rude But we was so poor, cereal's my favourite food And if you listening, I miss you Sorry I never come to visit, I'm just so busy trying to get you That new six coupe for putting up with my shit through The years and helping me through my pain and tears Cause now kids say I'm a lyrical genius And I say thanks for actually listening Cause it's all that's actually missing It's all that I ask And I'm glad you're a fan at last Cause on my path I've seen so many fucked up things Drugs and alcohol steal people's dreams Money reach out, drown and steal people's teams And lies bag up until it breaks the seam Or so it seem, people love you 'till you have no use! Goddamn, ain't that the truth Cause you here one day and then the next day poof And if you a nobody, nobody going to need the proof I can't explain who I am for certain It'd be like explaining a rainbow to a blind person But life's funny, ain't it? That picture in your head never comes out The same when you paint it But I place blame so much to a certain degree It's almost obvious, the person to blame is me It's almost obvious, the person to blame is me