The Ultimate Sandwich

[Verse 1] Five feet high and three feet wide No one's ever eaten the whole thing and survived It comes with a bucket of ranch on the side It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Dear God!) The Ultimate Sandwich (Oh shit!) Its taste could drive a lesser man insane Served on wheat bread made from thirty thousand separate grains It was made by a demon in his kitchen of pain It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Sweet Christ!) The Ultimate Sandwich (Fuck Yeah!) [Chorus] (Whoa-ho) It's a shit-ton of chicken, on a dickload of ham An explosion of clams (Whoa-ho) Top that fucker with yams Now just add panther, bear meat, and duck And you've got a sandwich that I'd like to fuck I mean eat, what? [Verse 2] The ultimate sandwich uses weapons-grade ham To awaken your passions, make you feel like a man It's as dense as an anvil and as big as a raft Its sun-dried tomatoes grip the sides of my shaft Topped with man's hottest peppers on the world's coldest cuts It's time to get sexy, no ifs, ands, or buts As I thrust deep inside it, bacon grazes my nuts It's the Ultimate Sandwich (Oh tits!) The Ultimate Sandwich (Hot balls!) [Chorus] (Whoa-ho) It's a legend of lunches The lord of buffets, I could slam it for days (Whoa ho) It sets my patties ablaze It's time to stuff my stuff in its stuffing Ninja Brian for practice I nailed your blueberry muffins [Outro] Oh, but not the one you're eating right now, Brian All right, I fucked that muffin too You gonna judge me? You gonna be a Judgey Jason about this? Ah! You have cleaved my entire body in half