Everybody Shut Up (I Have an Erection)

Oh my god, Stacy! Did I tell you about my date with Steve last week? You went out with Steve? He's so cute! I know! He took me out to this little restaurant- Everybody shut up! I have an erection It only happens 87 times a day Just stop what you're doing And witness penis perfection This is more important than what you have to say Your story can wait, cause I am very erect Now let's all take a minute to watch my dick and reflect Your spirit's in peace, no need to call the police Please hold your applause In conclusion, your honor, in light of this new evidence I would propose that the murderer was not my client, but... Mrs. Donnovan! Everybody shut up I have an erection If Justice is blind, she's gonna miss this display It's hard as steel but still evaded metal detection This is more important than what you have to say Judge, don't give me that robe, cause then nobody could see This pillar of awesome that's sticking straight out of me Who could argue a case with so much dick in your face? Please hold your applause Do you ever take a moment And look up at the stars? And think about your life And just how stupid you are If it makes you feel better I'm a fucking rock star With an amazing penis But enough about you Let's focus more on my crotch It's as tangy as whiskey And hits you harder than scotch You might not get what I'm sayin' So just sit back and watch Look! (Gasp!) It's still my penis! Ladies and gentlemen, as president of the United States I must sometimes make grave decisions I come to you today to tell you that the United States has decided to declare war on- Shut up! Mr. President, I have an erection Here's a tricky dick that cannot be impeached Check out my nutsack, it could swing an election This is more important than your boring-ass speech For one nation, indivisible under God We all stand together and peep my glorious rod Hey those guys look fun, oh wait, are they holding guns? Please hold your-