Dragon Slayer

[Intro] Why hello there. You're a very attractive young lady I'd like to ask you out on the hottest of dates I see that you have a lot of other gentlemen suitors Allow me to make my case... [Verse 1] This guy plays football But I once won the whole super bowl by myself This guy is a weightlifter But I can bench an entire continental shelf That dude is a scientist But I already cured all diseases last week And if that's not enough lemme ask When was last time one of these dicks killed a motherfuckin' mythical beast? [Chorus] Oh yeah, I will rock your world Cause I'm a dragon slayer, girl I shall now expose my chest Don't act like you're not impressed How hard did I just seal the deal With my dragon slayer steel Do you feel all my sexy appeal And my story that's so very totally real [Verse 2] I rode up to the mountaintop It was ninety million hundred fifty thousand hundred feet in the air Til I found the Dragon's cave And I fought through his army of awesome karate bears The Dragon's breath was a blast from hell And we fought so hard I missed a longstanding appointment for brunch Then I swung my horse like a club And it caused a sonic boom that ruptured space and then exploded the sun [Chorus] Oh yeah, you are now in love With both my dragon slaying nuts I killed a demon with these hands Did I say I'm also in a band? In case you might need more proof I brought the dragon right to you Ooh! it's the one that I slew He'll attest that my story is totally true [Bridge] Dragon dance! I am a dragon! Not some guy Dan met at the bus station in a dragon suit [Chorus] Girl let's go back to my place Nothing fancy, just a huge mansion in space Can you guess what's coming next? Here's a hint: I'm talking about sex This is the best day of your life You'll be my dragon slayer wife All right! Now it's time to decide Which lucky one of us is gonna be your lover tonight? [Outro] Oh, I see you've chosen the football player... And the scientist... And apparently the weightlifter as well... And the dragon... And Ninja Brian... And the Manticore!? He wasn't even in this song!