The Lyre of Orpheus

[Verse 1] Orpheus sat gloomy in his garden shed Wondering what to do With a lump of wood, a piece of wire And a little pot of glue O Mama O Mama [Verse 2] He sawed at the wood with half a heart And glued it top to bottom He strung a wire in between He was feeling something rotten O Mama O Mama [Verse 3] Orpheus looked at his instrument And he gave the wire a pluck He heard a sound so beautiful He gasped and said O my God O Mama O Mama [Verse 4] He rushed inside to tell his wife He went racing down the halls Eurydice was still asleep in bed Like a sack of cannonballs O Mama O Mama [Verse 5] Look what I've made, cried Orpheus And he plucked a gentle note Eurydice's eyes popped from their sockets And her tongue burst through her throat O Mama O Mama [Verse 6] O God, what have I done, he said As her blood pooled in the sheets But in his heart he felt a bliss With which nothing could compete O Mama O Mama [Verse 7] Orpheus went leaping through the fields Strumming as hard as he did please Birdies detonated in the sky Bunnies dashed their brains out on the trees O Mama O Mama [Verse 8] Orpheus strummed till his fingers bled He hit a G minor 7 He woke up God from a deep, deep sleep God was a major player in heaven O Mama O Mama [Verse 9] God picked up a giant hammer And He threw it with an thunderous yell It smashed down hard on Orpheus' head And knocked him down a well O Mama O Mama [Verse 10] The well went down very deep Very deep went down the well The well went down so very deep Well, the well went down to hell O Mama O Mama [Verse 11] Poor Orpheus woke up with a start All amongst the rotting dead His lyre tacked safe under his arm His brains all down his head O Mama O Mama [Verse 12] Eurydice appeared brindled in blood And she said to Orpheus If you play that fucking thing down here I'll stick it up your orifice! O Mama O Mama [Verse 13] This lyre lark is for the birds, said Orpheus It's enough to send you bats Let's stay down here, Eurydice, dear And we'll have a bunch of screaming brats O Mama O Mama [Verse 14] Orpheus picked up his lyre for the last time He was on a real low down bummer And stared deep into the abyss and said This one is for Mama O Mama O Mama O Mama O Mama