To Flourish (Growing Up)

[Verse 1] Been a menace, Dennis, I'll kick his door Innocence been evict, picture my vision, since four My uncle told me no innocent vixens, these bitches is hoes While he cheated on my aunt, twisted my wrist from the go So all my life, I've been twisted and cold My vision was different because of this shit I've been told So when me and women had difference, given gimmicks I'm sold I'd get up and go, or list 'em as a bitch or a hoe If you listen and get it, this image spit was your own Then use my lyrics as a pivot, to shift from the old I stick through the cold, eventually the drama come If every woman's a hoe, won't that make my momma one? Though, I've turned to realize, every cut in my belt Every failed relationship, was no one's fault but myself I can't trust you if I don't trust in myself And I can't love you if I don't love in myself [Hook x2] But I'm growing up, I'm growing up I'm growing up, though I've been grown in my age I've finally reached the point where I'm changing my ways [Verse 2] I'm growing up, though, I'm not there, but I try My worst perfections tend to overcome my best flaws You can't spell 'believe' without the word 'lie' And you might know where you are, but it doesn't make you less lost My mother and father been telling me I should be seeing a shrink, I'm sick, dude Again in the end, I never confess, they don't know what I been through I lost 10 of my homies, since I was a kid inside of my midschool Most of them overdoses, started from cigarettes inside of the gym, dude Got survivors guilt, pop a pill tryna off the pain A lot of homies got track marks, I never caught the train Scoffing coffee beans, dog, when I sleep, I'm lost in an dream Where all my peeps, gone and deceased, breathe, its all but a dream so I'm just lost awake Often thought of pulling a tec out Sit on my bed, put to my head, bloaw and now I bled out Not how I pictured dying, my niece'll grow with no uncle My mom and sister crying, all cause I wanted to find a way to get out Damn, come walk a foot in my sneakers, player Pain in my brain won't go away 'til I'm annebriated I've tried religion, prescriptions, homie, don't nothing work Homies are phonies, I'm really lonely, it fucking hurts If grandma was here, she'd tell me no fear, just blessings now She died inside of the projects but found a way to stretch a smile Looking into this photo book, I still hear her lessons loud Suicide won't bring you to heaven, thats why I'm scared to test it out I think I just really miss my friends, homie And I can't wait 'til the day I get to see 'em again, homie Thats why I want to fast forward to my end But I realize in their name, I have to win, homie, for real Right by my brain is where I held the gat Realize suicide's a selfish act Cause my dead family don't have the agility to breathe Every day is a blessing, I have ability to see Which mean I'm growing up [Hook x2]