Oprah vs Ellen

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ELLEN DEGENERES! VERSUS! OPRAH WINFREY! BEGIN! [Ellen DeGeneres] Hey God, it's me, Ellen, can I ask you a question? How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonna get more whipped than Stedman? I'll make her head spin, when it comes to rhymes I got a penchant So battling me is your intention, I better mention You're about to get licked by a lesbian Oh! Knock you off your throne, take a shot at everything you OWN I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say [Dr. Phil] I think you better just leave her alone [Ellen DeGeneres] You can tell Rachel Ray that my favorite recipe Is chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces [Oprah Winfrey] I'm the queen of TV and I'm here to destroy ya So check under your seat, because I got something for ya! You can't even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya! Girl, your show's a petting zoo, you do a week on kittens And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen You played a fish with brain damage, I'm a nominated actress Name synonymous with power! Spell it forwards or backwards [Ellen DeGeneres] Yes, you've got that power (power), and yes I've got those kittens (kittens) I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens I like cute things that make people smile Make everybody feel good for a while Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild Kick you right back to the Miracle Mile I thought I told ya, your daytime reign is over I'm jumping over Oprah like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa From ABC to LGBT, to NBC and now it's all me I'm the best MC and the biggest star I'll bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car [Oprah Winfrey] Your mouth is writing checks your mullet can't cash, lady! I'll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suitpants, baby You follow my lead cause I paved the road for ya You drive behind me in a second-hand Porsche Check the Fortune 500, I'm a media wonder The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number Try to beef with me, I'll make the whole market crash Honey, once you go Oprah [Stedman Graham] You can't go back [Outro] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!