Santa's Got A Muthafuckin' Uzi

[Verse One] Thank God it's Christmas Very nice time of year Adults going overboard Little kids finding cheer Beer is on the carpet Light bills getting high Ask Jim and Florida Son, we're just getting by Getting high When I heard the doorbell ring It was Santa in the living room Stealing my things Hey fat fucker put my TV down! He turned around Took a look at me And said I'm a clown I looked down Seen his little helpers Looking kinda mad Though I thought that they were helpless Said that I was selfish Didn't wanna build with the God One jumped up wild Punched me dead in the jaw Kicked me in the shin Then another to the head I can't believe these muthafuckaz beat up the dread Punched me in my ribs Said ho ho ho Cookies and my egg nog was all on the floor [Verse Two] I called up Ak The brother called right back Like "What'd you wake me up for?" Call up Fakts This fat muthafucka done did it again And he showed up this time with 2 of his friends Oh no no Brother get the gauge That jolly muthafucka seen the end of his days We dipped to the North Pole swift and quick We're gonna hide inside his crib Then we'll pummel his shit I've never seen a house so fly and plush Man Santa's living large with all types of stuff Big screen TV's DVD's Flicks of him down at Fenway with David Ortiz Acting like he's Boston Fronting the role I took a look over at Ak "Yeah this bitch gotta go" Santa busted through the door with Bush an Cheney I ducked behind the couch because those hoes tried to spray me We're all up in this mission with our 9mm's and shit But who knew Santa was packing a banana clip?! Not I So I tried to relax We're outmatched Then I heard a fat shot from Fakts Down ass Brother caught Bush in the head Time to make a move Ak "Is, is, is he dead?" Brotha what you think?! Throw the kitchen sink! I started dumbing out on Cheney Put some heat in his mink 2 down 1 to go (Ho ho ho) Took a look at Santa He was sniffing some blow Damn son Old dude's gripping his lead tight I guess a little coke must have gotten his head right Because all we seen is smoke and some light from the barrel Now we're up in heaven signing Christmas carols So all you little kiddies just don't say shit! We made a request And got our face split So if you're sitting on his lap and he asks you what you want You cock back your hammer Shoot him dead in his ponch Then jet Don't look back Just keep running And focus on your foot speed His helpers are coming So don't sleep on Christmas Eve Don't snooze G Because Saint Nick aka Captain Cruelty Is gonna get his payback and get away smoothly Usually Because Santa's got a muthafuckin' Uzi