Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)

DAD: There are Jews in the world There are Buddhists There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammad, but I've never been one of them I'm a Roman Catholic And have been since before I was born And the one thing they say about Catholics is: They'll take you as soon as you're warm You don't have to be a six-footer You don't have to have a great brain You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came Because Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate CHILDREN: Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found CHILDREN: Every sperm is wanted Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood MUM: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon Spill theirs just anywhere But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care MEN: Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great WOMEN: If a sperm is wasted,... CHILDREN: ...God gets quite irate PRIEST: Every sperm is sacred BRIDE and GROOM: Every sperm is good NANNIES: Every sperm is needed... CARDINALS: ...In your neighbourhood! CHILDREN: Every sperm is useful Every sperm is fine FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's: MOURNER #1: Mine... MOURNER #2: And mine... CORPSE: And mine! NUNS: Let the Pagan spill theirs O'er mountain, hill, and plain HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain EVERYONE: Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is good Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood Every sperm is sacred Every sperm is great If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate