Budding Ornithologists Are Weary of Tired Analogies

[Hook] I refuse to learn gimmicky dance moves But surely this is something you can shake your ass to All the clever rhymes have been written So divas settle for Kevin Feder-lines [Verse] I let my mind wander far beyond Mars Which normally means whatever channel is playing Pawn Stars Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't picked to be Green Lantern Or why I'm forced to spit these rhymes in dimly lit taverns These songs aren't worth the paper that they're written on Tattoos are expensive and I've got sensitive palms I'm Walt White without pants, pistol drawn My life consists of veggie bacon and getting pissed upon There are crackhead cro-magnons who have to de-thaw And show their club memberships with Starbucks beverage green straws I never played football, I was team fumbler Hip-hop is cool if you quote me on your Tumblr Over an auspicious backdrop of nebulas My music career has a slight upward slope of hyperbola My other job's only line is, "tonight, I'll be servin' ya!" Hip-hop is so trivial But we argue about who can do it better Like we're not all rearranging the same 26 letters We write songs that have the power of a bumper sticker I don't pay at the pump, I go inside to bicker About how my culture's been overrun by live wiggers' Ode's to black men and the women they title "gold diggers" I grew up slathering myself in vaseline Rappers must have achy necks and need to cop some Aspercreme Change my relationship to "It's Complicating" Which opens up my evening to chat messages and masturbating Rap fans discuss how many times Dre detoxes I'm in the corner with my headphones and Fleet Foxes Wishing we were building soundscapes from beatboxes [Hook] I refuse to learn gimmicky dance moves But surely this is something you can shake your ass to [Hook] x2