Fat Chance

[Intro: Mike Zoot talking] This is a hate song. Not a love song. It's a hate song. Cause I hate fat bitches. Yeah I said it. And fat bitches hate me. Haha. I'm telling you son...a fat broad son. A fat broad talking to me won, talking to me like that son. A fat broad talking to me son. Mike Zoot son. I'm trying to tell you man [Verse] My confidant, colleges and peers lend me your ears And three dollars more for two more beers Anyways I was where I usually be You know the block down there? So begins the current affair, yeah It must've been about 80 degrees It was me, Sai and Rich on the way uptown to check these three cheeses Now the rules on blind dates is it don't matter just squeeze Soft black tissue I issue them deez And then I Breeze like Cool Love don't live here in the 90's Gal I'm rude like dog Dutch nigga, crazy grimy Stick to mad massive, young girls we adore So anyway we parked out front and walked up to the sixth floor And be greeted by quite frankly, three very large women Damn, I knew I shouldn't have came, I knew Rich was bullshitting About some freaks we could meet I bite my tongue and cheek slowly Meeting Milis and Keke and they cousin Niaomi Now the first two was for son and son and the third one's for me I sat down feeling stressed and roll myself up a tree Now Niaomi weighted about I'd say ah about 276 About 5'2", give or take a half an inch Yo I'm not touching this bitch Yo I don't even want the head I'm just gon' sit here on the sofa listening to mixtapes instead I'm just kicking it Furthest thing on my mind is hitting it I wasn't even listening till she said some real shit 'Bout when she went to college back at Texas A&M That's where she met the father of her children We started building concepts on society and just on niggas in general So I kicked back the whole concept on society of us niggas And the shit we been through She couldn't understand my mental but I admired her whole outlook She sees life simple And talks like a lady Hmmm, you don't get that much So yo I knocked off the ashes and cold passed the Dutch She took three draws, turned up the Royal Flush I was like "Yo, you like that?" "Yo that's the joint." "Yo this the part, chill, hush." (You sensitive) Now my mouth open wide :I was just wilding off that same part up in the ride" So I ask, "Is this the bathroom?" and walks inside I'm kinda like, "Feeling this fat bitch, I must be high." Well goddamn if I am you can't see it in my eyes Quickly stepping back outside, "Yo where was we?" "Now your zodiac sign? Please something about us." She said, "I don't know about all this 'us' but yo my signs Aquarius." Born and raised in Brownsville, shorty keeps it real Intelligent, full figured sister, with lots of sex appeal Now you don't gotta tell me twice That's quite easily seen My young queen from the ghetto, pretty eyes, hazel green I just can't put my hand on it, it's much more than physical Attraction almost spiritual, you know me here with you But as we continue on that while feeling this I passionately wet my lips and prepare for wet kiss Moved her hair across her face And grip her tightly clutched fist by the wrist Seems she read the whole signal She giggled just a little With no real neckline But the cutest little dimple on the cheekbone jiggle, oh so fine And I swore she was fine till she drained the whole love pool Looked me in the face and said, "Mike, you cool Ayo, thanks for the weed it was a sweet thing to do It's been a nice night but basically you're just not my type." (WHAT?!) This can't be right, I know my game down pat So I go, "What's the problem shorty?" She said, "Just leave it at that." So I go, "You gotta tell me something." She said, "Oh no, just stuff, now can we please forget about it?" So I said, "That ain't enough? Ah nah nah I'm saying that's some real deal bullshit I thought we was there. I know I felt it in the air But hey forget it. Don't sweat it. I'm hip to your game." "Don't be acting like that. Come on now, I'm sayin'." She said So I stop in my tracks, "Yo it's dead Yo c'mon son I'm code red. I'm 'bout ready to be fled." The vibe's led, I'm aggravated with a face that can't fake it Shake my head agitated, she go "That's how you gon' take it? Since I smoked a little trees and drank a half a cup of liquor I might as well just say it, I don't fuck with fat niggas." [Mike Zoot and girl arguing] Mike: Fat? Fat? Bitch-bitch look at you?! Girl: Bitch? Bitch? Who's a bitch? I ain't no bitch nigga! You just tried to kiss me. I ain't no bitch. Yo sit down, shut up! Mike: Bitch I'll smack you Girl: You gon' smack me?! You gon' smack me little boy?! You ain't smacking nobody! What, don't hold me! What it is. Motherfucker [Sample] "You got to be good to me. I'm gonna be good to you."