Calvin and Hobbes

I’m like five years old moving around to six Every Sunday morning Calvin and Hobbes comic strip Tiger came alive, day before, I’m riding high Watching X-Men at eleven it’s on channel five Couple hours later in church singing songs to God Me and my cousin Hal in the back recite a lot of rhymes Had a Walkman by Sony, bootlegging shit Three dollars to the Africans on one twenty-fifth Clue tapes best to big out that was the manuscript The Lox Family, DMX vs. Cannabis Recording over gospel tapes, I was a fan of it Inside stuff from ? to Analysts Black Power Ranger was black, so amazing Yellow Power Ranger was hot, she was an Asian Wait a minute, black and yellow, Wiz Khalifa shit? Yellow, Asian, damn I can’t believe this shit Used to steal my pop’s CDs and put ‘em back later Found out about Biggie by 'em, baby baby! Michael Jordan dunking on Ewing, then there was Pippen next Hardaway, Mourning, man we never get respect ‘Til Starks dunked on the Bulls, baseline crack Bulls fans cried it was Horace, Jordan was in the back Me? I was a Sonic fan I loved Shawn Kemp Gary Payton throwing alley-oops to the strong pimp Seven kids, six mothers, drug user, alcoholic Before school I watched Zack kiss every freak On Saved By The Bell, Lisa Turtle duckin’ Screech Lark Voorhies was on fire, Never really liked Laura Had a crush on Mira, would’ve banged out Topanga Prolly got messy, dreamt of head from Kelly, would’ve gave pills to Jessie Me and my cousin Vinny snuck and heard all The Chronic Throwing fake guns in the air acting like Onyx Found my pop’s porn on the shelf in his closet Used to watch Janet Jacme scream loud getting popped in Still a virgin, paper boy in baggy jeans I had Parasucos with lines down the seams Can’t we get along? We singing simple songs Timothy McVeigh vs. Flex, who got the bigger bombs? Cell phones big as a forearm, ditched prom Didn’t have a date, my ex blamed it on Islam Street Fighter that was the shit, I used Ryu Played Genesis all day, Streets of Rage 2 Martha Stewart was a good thing Stealing potato chips from the stores was a hood thing The Knicks in the middle of the Finals Olajuwon spinning off Ewing for the title We had a Gulf War, what the fuck for? Kids in Somalia died ‘cause they starved Dawg, my president ain’t black But my man got head and he sure can play the sax Then he got an office in Harlem next to blacks Smoked weed but he didn’t inhale, how real is that? White boys in trench coats aired out Columbine Tossing old kicks in the air on top of power lines Worked a McDonald’s job for a dollar sign And got fired for McFlurrys I was tryna slide Forrest Gump on the bench sitting awkwardly Ready to Die was my artery I remember writing lyrics down from Bone Thugs N Harmony Recite it back to my friends so they’d be a part of me Loved Diddy before the shiny shit I’m a 80s baby and a 90s kid, dig?