Shvensen Fitzlogic

Lyrics by MC Lars and HardNox Music by HardNox [LARS] Dropped my little sister off at San Jose State Freshman hotties on the floor and they all look great 18 with brains and booties to match I want to scratch that ass like Grandmaster Flash You were in Gymboree my freshman year Mr. T was on TV and now you’re hear Not creepy anymore when it feels like heaven You know the hottest girls were born in 1987 [HARDNOX] 1987 was the year, now they’re freshman hotties drinking cheap-ass beer Fake ID’s? They don’t matter to me, you’ve got some tig ol’ bitties and some nice white teeth Study with me, I won’t open a book, I’m a SparkNote tip, you might call me a crook I take all the hot and attractive courses I’m Shvensen Fitzlogik sing my chorus! [Chorus] Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college 25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm) Shvensen Fitzlogik, wasted in college 25 year old in a freshman dorm (25 year old in a freshman dorm) [HARDNOX] Hey mom, please send me more money, it’s my eighth year in college digging freshman honeys Here try this, it will make you feel good, you can wake up staring at the morning wood Then I’ll walk down the hall, holding on the wall Leave a little puke in the bathroom stall On the girl’s floor, I’ll do it all again, it’s a new year I should ask you again [LARS] How old are you? Don’t tell me yet Wait let me guess, I’ll make a bet You’ve got a thing for older guys and I know it’s true Johnny Freshman can’t do these things to you These girls like good with their cute pink shorts On the floor next to their book reports You’re no Margery Kempe, so shut your yap It’s MC Lars and HardNox with the statutory rap [Chorus] [HARDNOX] What’s your name? My name’s Shvensen Try a little German baby, see what you’re missin’ ‘Cause I’m so paid from my distray In the freshman dorm party scene trying to get laid Come in my upper room I’ve got some Coconut and Malibu Sit on the couch – want a drink? I do! Give me three, give me six, give me nine Add them all up and it’s one good time CHORUS