Everyone's a Little Bit Gay

Lyrics by MC Lars Music by MC Lars & Rob Seals [Homophobe]: Dude that band’s so gay [Lars]: Really? You mean they’re jovial, happy and good-spirited? [Homophobe]: Wait, what? No I mean, their music sucks [Lars]: Oh, I thought you were trying to speak English just then, my bad To the dudes across the world, I’ve got something to say If you see beauty in the human form, that means you’re kind of gay Alred Kinsey said it best – the human scale is sliding Completely gay or straight, there’s no clear dividing And subjects like these strike a serious chord They tell you that it’s wrong to be Bi-curious George It’s the feeling that you get watching sports with your buddies! In any room of 9ers fans, half of them have chubbies Footballs that’s gay, Milonakis had it right Guys shower in the locker room and put on pads and tights They dance around with balls and slap each other’s butts If you told me that was straight, then I’d tell you that you’re nuts Construction men are gay, erecting buildings all day long Check the Washington Monument, it looks like a giant schlong Redneck guys are in the closet, but don’t feel bad There's still room for rainbow bars on Confederate flags [Hook] Everyone’s a little bit gay We try to hide it try to put it away Confusing feelings don’t mean they’re wrong So just sit back listen to my song Everyone’s a little bit gay Don’t get defensive, just know it’s okay Homophobic guys hear what I say You loved the Village People back in the day Renaissance man? You can’t convince me That you like chicks yo, right da Vinci? He liked pepperoni on and off the plate Just like Aristotle and Alexander the Great Or ask Walt Whitman and Henry Thoreau Male bondin’ at Walden many years ago And friendship love’s confusing surely Ask Ren & Stimpy, or Bert and Ernie Rappers on the DL, have a secret plan Rob Halford came out, and Atom Goren understands Carson Daily’s manorexic so gay in his demeanor Just like Pete Wentz, taking pictures of wiener The AFI guy? Nobody really knows Check out exhibit A: Glittler Boy Clothes? But MC Lars isn’t gay! I get with chicks every night So the world will know I’m straight, I mean That makes sense, right, (Yeah) right…. ? (It Does) [Hook] Everyone’s a little bit gay We try to hide it try to put it away Confusing feelings don’t mean they’re wrong So just sit back listen to my song Everyone’s a little bit gay You can’t deny it, despite what you say Before you go and judge someone different, wait Voting Republican won’t make you straight Let me break it down, it’s not that scary You come home for Christmas with a guy named Harry You offend your mom And your Uncle Larry You’ve got to do your thing, just ask Chuck Berry They ban gay marriage they say it’s weird But tradition comes from habit and tradition comes from fear And say people rock, just check the facts So if you’re hating on my homos then you’re bound to get a smack [Hook] Everyone’s a little bit gay We try to hide it try to put it away Confusing feelings don’t mean they’re wrong So just sit back listen to my song Everyone’s a little bit gay Don’t get stressed, just know it’s okay Homophobic rappers hear what I say You moonwalked in Crenshaw back in the day