Altered States

Produced by K.Flay Mixed by Jason Moss Written by K. Flaherty and A. Nielsen K.FLAY: In Indiana I watched a Hoosiers game Saw Bobby Knight bringing the pain The next week down in Tennessee I built a life-sized model of a centipede Kicking it in Kansas dope red pumps Jayhawks shaking badonkadonks In Nebraska, I husked corn all day Got bitten by a shark Californ-I-A MC LARS: Had to let it go in New Mexico Played a sold out show in Calexico Had a trailer crash on tour in Minnesota Got lucky in Kentucky with a chick in my Toyota Got in my pajamas with a girl from Alabama Then I lost my laptop in Louisiana Saw Hannah in Montana, went to New Joisy Got lost on the turnpike gross and oily K.FLAY: I was in Vermont, saw into the future now I’m clairvoyant Out to infinity and then beyond Drank a tub of maple syrup, got sick and I called my Mom Popped a soda up in North Dakota Then I hitched a ride down to Arizona Business that’s risky in Mississippi Oregon filled with duck-billed hippies MC LARS: Do I really have to remind ya About the bets we made in North and South Carolina? If you can’t ignore the Idaho snow We’ll move to Georgia where the peaches grow In Massachusetts met Confucius Said, “Where’s your beverage? Are you juiceless?” It’s not that I’m insane I’m just too West Coast for New Hampshire or Maine CHORUS: 50 states, 64 bars Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars Check out the map (yeah we’ve been there) K.FLAY: I put the O in Ohio, Venus de Milo Kidnapped by the circus and they put me in a sideshow Got lei’d in Hawaii on top of dolphins that’s where I be Rhode Island popped a Mylanta In Alaska chillin with Santa David the gnoming in Wyoming Pennsylvania’s pregnant and it’s showing MC LARS: Not ignoring the warm Florida sun Chased by a gator to Wisconsin Made a scary plan down in Maryland Where Edgar Allan Poe died a sad lonely man I guess his death wish was big like Texas You can’t reject this New York guestlist In Utah I saw the Simpsons movie At the Delaware mall I paid no duties K.FLAY: Michigan acting like a bitch again In Colorado you’ll need your Michelins Small gene pools in West VA Washington state lots of rainy days Munching on a bowl full of curry in Missouri Midwest swing and I’m no hurry Mad love for Illinois got a silent s And it’s not Reno homeboy it’s Re-yes MC LARS: Went to Nevada had a bad trip Moved to Iowa where I owe a grip Chasing tornados in Oklahoma Climbing Lincoln’s nose in South Dakota Friends with benefits in Connecticut Went to Virginia for some southern etiquette Hundreds of fans all parked and saw Me and Bill Clinton jamming in Arkansas CHORUS: 50 states, 64 bars Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars Check out the map (yeah we’ve been there) MC LARS & K.FLAY: These are the states that we’ve been to And all the hi jinks that we got into At the end of the day all we can say Is there’s really no place like the USA