Charity Case

Oh, man! I try to dodge fans but they keep swarming MC Frontalot’s heart’s huge; let’s have a housewarming I love you so damn much I’ll sell you CDs I’m greedy to get loved back like Ally Sheedy In WarGames. I got more sayings and turns of phrase In my communist handbook than in my — damn, what’d I do with my ledger? I’ll never get paid now! That distributor promised me checks but didn’t say how He was going to locate the Front It’s the anonymity I’m a little bitty bit late to shun Hate to run; can’t be tardy to my rally: “Art Must Be Free” is the decree. The finalé Is my lecture on the evils of the R-I-double-A How they’re going to sue you every single time you hit play They’re lame! Must revolt! What’s that you say? Kids are pirating the Frontalot? Oh no, I got betrayed! It’s true: Frontalot’s destitute I need you To buy my CD so I could buy food I been a charity case to my fan base for years: In tears at my show, “somebody buy me ride home.” Now I’ve got something I can barter for services Don’t let the major labels get word of this I’m girderless, free falling towards riches; Going to sell so many CDs that I can afford britches And a shirt, and a hat to go with it I get specific — ‘cause my fantasy is that vivid I’m going to buy gadgets that don’t do anything but beep And blink, then I’ll go out in public & buy drinks — But it’s contingent on your ponying up Wait, you got my record on Bittorrent? Fuck! Might seem like there’s no DRM but I’ll explode Your computer like COBRA done to GI Joe On the episode about computer viruses Oh look, there’s the ledger: overflowing with minuses My spinelessness in the face of the starvation Projected by my cash flow erodes the hesitation I once harbored as regards the tune vending If only the nerd kids’ aversion to spending Money on data got inverted somehow I’d be making my way through all my dollars with a plow But instead I’m down on the ground on my knees Begging y’all to believe my CD isn’t free