Help Wanted

Help wanted Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted Have unnecessary skills? If a house is barely haunted, do you think it's really real Fill out an application, just be patient, you know the drill As a veteran, I was settling into a life of self-pity Living with my mother in my favorite city She started getting on my case about wasting my life I missed the action of the Air Force and the feeling of flight "Get a job", she demanded, so I picked up the papers Saw an ad that wasn't bad; at least I wasn't a waiter I was trained in computers, I was fit and athletic I was tired of being a loser and feeling pathetic So I went and interviewed; I was a dude without options The more questions she asked, the more my mind flashed caution Do you believe in UFOs? Yeah, I've had my fair share Clairvoyance, ESP, do you believe in what isn't there? And (?? later in the lockers ??), I was honestly scared But I was desperate and upset with just chilling in chairs So I said, "The pay is steady, then I'm willing and able" She said, "You're hired." I was wired, I was suddenly stable Help wanted Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted Have unnecessary skills? If a house is barely haunted, do you think it's really real Fill out an application, just be patient, you know the drill I met the dudes in my crew, they were slimy and stinky Took my down in the basement, showed me a really big twinkie I started thinking the back of the bible was entirely right I started seeing crazy shit that will turn you white The dead rising from the grave, this is totally the end of days At least I was getting paid, in spite of my mental state Better than telling fortunes in Coney Island with a cape Better than birthday parties where I wasn't offered any cake I --- --- patience perfect, I'm determined and devoted Found a God in a painting and a spectral locomotive Sometimes -------, sometimes I can not handle But I'm about to ----, ----- settles God is watching over me; protecting me from dangers Sometimes it's up to me to bust a beast with binding lasers I have tools, I have talent, it's a challenge when you're chosen But I was born to bust a ghost, -- -- -- -- who oppose us Help wanted Do you want to pay the bills? Help wanted Have unnecessary skills? If a house is barely haunted, do you think it's really real Fill out an application, just be patient, you know the drill