Where Are You

I'm staring at your picture dad Pulling up the past Trying to learn about this father that I never had So young, so wrong, and ye gone It's only, me, mom Virginia & God Were all alone, and are leader is not home The crossroads took you or these demons below I'm feeling the cold, you were not here, not there When I had my first fight I was so scared When I had my first kiss I could not share I was lost and the school they did not care Why'd you leave me, hanging from the ceiling? Angels stopped singing and mom's not sleeping I'm not bitter or mad, I'm just missing a dad Sitting here thinking, praying wishing you back These feeling are wack, almost too much to bare I know your souls alive I just want to know where Are you Why did you leave me Where are you Were you thinking of me dad Are you Do you love me Where are you Than where are you if you do Well I'm all grown up now moved out a P-Town Married this girl, mom said you'd be so proud I even slimmed down I'm hanging with a new crowd If only you're around, you'd see what I can do now I travel the globe, singing bringing a hope Through hip hop rocking roll lifting the soul They say I look like you, your smile & eyes too I got moms hair thank God I was frightful I know you can't come back from the past But the fact that you left and the damage is bad I don't know if mom fears or if she ever got healed Or if she blames you and God over the years You were my dad, and I was your son If only you new what it was like growing up When I look at the sky I get this thought in my mind And wonder what it be like if your still alive I'm still trying figure out what when on in the house What voice was talking loud what made you kill yourself? Was it something I did, I said, as little kid? Something like a fib that you can't forgive? My life was so hard lost my only body guard Slowly God healed the scars let's say you left a mark I've had the same thoughts that talked to you, Talk to me I had to see a shrink but now I'm back on my feet I battle thoughts with words, using psalms & verbs A new rebirth no longer Am I insecure I heard a voice say I'll never leave ye But I didn't see ye I've forgotten you like amnesia I believe I'll see you some where in heaven Where we can talk and I can ask you a question But for now, I'm a move on be strong And make sure I'm there for my own son