Bars for my brother

[Verse 1:lowkey] I hope you're somewhere listening to this I wish I knew why you did what you did Cause I still haven't really come to terms with the truth There must have been something you were determined to do The lessons you taught me, I can't forget But there's so many unanswered questions Now everything seems meaningless You lived fast and died young But my brother you were a genius How could you ever believe that you'll survive I don't care what they say, that shit is suicide I won't lie, there was much distance between you and I I should've told you not to do it, don't be stupid You've got looks, got brains and your future's bright Now you're gone I feel like I'm gon' lose my mind I never thought you'd get yourself organised I wish we saw the signs, the shock left us all traumatised These are awful times, and I need more than rhymes Cause this was more than a tragedy You can't just cheat the forces of gravity You left me here to hold a brave face supporting the family [Verse 2: Lowkey] In a way you were dying to live It's fucked up man, I'm crying while I'm writing this shit Water from my eyes is stopping me from lighting my spliff Why didn't you realise that your life is a gift Mum and Dad don't understand why they've outlived their son Every single CD, Mix Tape and Album to come Is dedicated to no other than my blood brother But I hate you, for the way you made my Mum suffer Words can't explain, how a certain part of my heart hurts with the harshest pain Last time we spoke, we said we weren't brothers and we aren't the same I told myself you were too far past insane How could we not take your death badly I just asked mum and she said your name meant happy [Verse 3: Lowkey But my soul is too cold to laugh My heart bleeds when I'm looking at your old school photograph I wish that I could touch your beautiful flesh I'm writing but we ain't even had the funeral yet Now death is something, that I'm staying ever ready for You had plenty more to give, you weren't even 24 I don't understand why you had to die In a lot of rappers rhymes, death is glamorised Not me, I'll always stay remembering you I should've known this was something you'd eventually do When you got shift, we should've known it was bad The next day I was sitting here consoling my Dad It's like a nightmare, it still doesn't seem real [Verse 4: Lowkey] But this is my life, not some fucking deep film It's the strange feeling I felt in the late night Witnesses said that you fell from a great height Can't be my brother man, tell me it ain't right Right now I'd rather blaze, we could face life Shit what a waste, what a shame I just gotta make sure your life wasn't lost in vain This is my brother, not just a departed friend So hard for my |?| to start again From now on our lives will never be the same We holding on too tight for the memories to fade 24 years was hardly a life On the day you passed, it's like a part of me died I've been scarred many times but this pain is so much worse And it's so much harder to describe You will still be missed I'm sorry we didn't support you, we thought we did I wish I broke your leg so you couldn't jump Now all I can do...is rep your fuckin name like I should've done Cause it's only right I'm still not sleeping, but now I'm seeing your ghost at night We all wish we could've stopped you I know I can't go back in time now, but I want to It's like a tightened knot that I can't undo Why did I have to lose you to realise I loved you Be careful what you wish for, in case it comes true Right now I'm confused, feeling so subdued When they arrested you, they wanted to sanction you The only thing we did wrong was going and getting you Next morning you was up, not doing what you was meant to do That wasn't the life that you were meant to have That wasn't the way that it was meant to be You were sick, not physically but mentally I still ain't got a fraction of this shit off of my chest All that goes through my mind is the constant regret Why why why did you die for no reason All of a sudden the weathers cold its so freezin Have you ever head the saying, when it rains it pours Don't ever try to tell me my pain is the same as yours Cause it's not, and everything isn't what it seems I'm pinching myself but I know that this is not a dream Why did you have to do that, this isn't fair Listen my brother, never think that I didn't care There's no words to describe the way that this feels Now I can clearly separate the fake from the real Why did everyone else have to be bro I still can't quiet believe that you're actually gone Just 5 days, 5 days and it feels like the same day Weed ain't helpin but I need it just to maintain Cause the bleak reality is terrible And last night mom was practically hysterical People I thought would care, couldn't care less I need a lot of support cause I'm feeling bare stressed And everyone else seems immature I'm being tested, thinking what is there left that I'm living for I need to clear my thoughts, stop thinking and try n breathe Just a week ago I was so innocent and naive Now my insides are burning like hells flames I've realised up until now I've never felt pain It's so evident that everything I cared about before was so irrelevant There's certain people that call when they see that this shit is hurtin But I see them for what they are now cause I'm a different person R.I.P In fact fuck R.I.P I want you to live through me Live through me... Live through me... Live...through...me...