White People (Scene)

[Skit] WILLIAM KAI: Yeah, then the bitch said “use a condom”, and I said “baby, there’s like 10 people left in existence, fuck does it matter?” QUENTIN THOMAS: You didn’t say that WILLIAM KAI: Man, yes I did QUENTIN THOMAS: No, you didn’t WILLIAM KAI: I’m a grown ass man, what? I’ma lie to you? I’ma lie?Alright, maybe I just thought it, but damn, she was just so butt naked I’d wrap up with a trash bag just to get it, you know what I’m saying? THALIA: Guys, we seem to be approaching another ship QUENTIN THOMAS: What? WILLIAM KAI: Impossible QUENTIN THOMAS: How far? THALIA: 32 kilometers QUENTIN THOMAS: Shit. HQ this is pilot Quentin Thomas, accompanied by my first man in charge of infantry William Kai of the Aquarius 3, come in, over HEADQUARTERS: HQ here. What is it, Thomas? QUENTIN THOMAS: My program has just informed me and my partner of another ship that’s now 31 kilometers out HEADQUARTERS: Did you just say another ship? WILLIAM KAI: Yeah, that's what he said, another fuckin' ship in the middle of space, man THALIA: I’ve gathered information from the ship’s motherboard HEADQUARTERS: Engage the ship WILLIAM KAI: What? QUENTIN THOMAS: Copy THALIA: I’m receiving audio embedded in the ship’s distress signal WILLIAM KAI: Man, why white people always gotta go investigating shit, man QUENTIN THOMAS: Shut up Kai - Thalia, play that message THALIA: You got it CHRISTOPHER SMITH: This is Captain Christopher Smith of the Aquarius 1. The year is 2093. Time unknown. The entire crew is dead, and I fear these are my last hours. Whatever you do, do not come knocking WILLIAM KAI: Aw, hell nah, we gotta get the fuck outta here man QUENTIN THOMAS: HQ, engagement is a no go, permission of the Aquarius 3 to push through to Paradise? HEADQUARTERS: Permission granted WILLIAM KAI: Man thank God