White Dude

[Hook] And y'ain't even want it wit da boy Cuz the way I'm livin life, is a muthafuckin joy On some grown man B.I I could have been a girl Or any ethnicity up in the world But I'm rollin with the top back I ain't gotta worry where the cops at I ain't gotta wear a fucking bra strap Me and the crew Are really doing everything that we like to Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude [Verse 1] Shit, i'm living good up in this bitch Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision For a white boy Holl atcha muthafuckin kike, boy Higher than a muthafuckin kite, it's aight boy They ain't suspicious of Jews I'll show contrition it's cool Slap on the wrist, get ma daddy to choose One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise Das what I do kid Happy that my name ain't stupid Dave coulda been Daquan wit a few kids But now I'm farting, overeating at meals If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look... I know I'm being condescending in ma rhymes But ma premium channels mean Tyler Perry's never live Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the eagle 45 Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive (food chains) [Hook] [Verse 2] Yeah. It's little DI in this bitch ho Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo I never wake up and have to cake on ma make up Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthafucka They up in heels And tummy tuckin, they don't grub except for takin' them pills, foreal... And ion't bleach shit Ion't gotta eat dick I ain't bleeding up out ma penis Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing In disagreements, I participate without weeping And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a slut So what up Ya boy cut up But eat butter And I ain't gotta speak to ma mother...to still love her And I been getting better looking with age But a guy can get who he deserves wit a horrible face *Seal interlude* I go on dates, and never have to worry bout getting raped And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake And if impregnate I can pack a back and be on my way, but good luck girl! [Hook] [Outro] Yeah... I'm happy as fuck man First off I'm a dude so There was a one in two chance of that sucking But now I can run a seven minute mile I can defend my self adequately I can be logical I can get along with my room-mates Watch serious movies without being scared by them And the on top of that I'm white Which is like, amazing because Everybody naturally assumes I'm a great person I get a fair shot at the life I deserve I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country I get my hair cut at a salon People hold the door open for me which is nice Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people It ain't about that It's about me being happy that I'm white, know what I'm saying? But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that shit don't make any sense I've been thinking about that shit a lot Because like if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out It's like the perfect filler word