Which Came First?

[Hook] Oh, which came first? Oh, which came first? [Chicken:] You know my rhymes are evil [Egg:] But my rhymes are worse Oh, which came first? [Verse 1: Lauren Flans as Chicken] Well, I’m the chicken, I’m the hen, I’m the queen of the coop And all you grandmas step back – I don’t go in your soup I’m the bitch, I’m the bird, I can motherfuckin’ fly You say the egg came first? That’s a goddamn lie! I’ve been around since day one and I was chillin’ alone And if this player say different, he’ll be choking on my chicken bone Ruffle my feathers; you’ll end up in a hearse Cuz everybody on the planet knows the chicken came first [Verse 2: Ryan Harrison as Egg] Well, you’re the chicken, I’m the egg; you’re the queen, I’m the king Step back, take a knee, I’m gonna tell you one thing You say you been here all along, you been here from day one Let me ask you this, bitch: “Where you come from?” From the egg! From the shell! That’s the hard-boiled truth! I’m like the hostess in the front: “Can I take you to your booth?” Put your head on, bitch – your logic is broke Show your daddy some respect, or you’ll be gulping my yolk [Hook] [Verse 3: LF] Where I come from? How I come to be? Well, where did you come from, son? You came from me! Well, how the fuck you think you got here?! Someone flick on a switch? You spent your first twelve days camping under this bitch So go to bed! Clean your room! Do what your momma say do! Cuz momma’s with her girls... [Girls:] "Koo-koo-ku-chu!” And we’re sill laughin’ bout the time when your shit popped out... [Girl:] "Hey, girl – what’s that egg about?” [Verse 4: RH] I’m glad you got your crew, cuz mine’s around And they’d be shouting right now, but eggs don’t make a sound... They’re like a spy at your door lifting up the latch Who’s got a hand in your drawers before you even say “Hatch” So get your man on the phone, call your daddy at work Call your lawyer, call your agent, call your jury, call your clerk Tell the whole damn courtroom, so everyone hears – “Before I even got home, y’know the egg was here!” [Hook] [Verse 5: LF] Egg, you’re clownin’ yourself; you hide behind your words It’s obvious to me you wanna get with this bird So proceed with caution, don’t let down your guard ’Cause I can see from here I’m gettin’ your shell hard [Verse 6: RH] I don’t need you, girl! What you think you’re startin’? There’s eleven other ladies lying in my carton Sure, your breasts are juicy and your thighs are sick But chickens ain’t shit but hoes and tricks... [Interlude] Besides, I really don’t know what I’d pick up from you – I ain’t in the market for no Asian Bird Flu [LF] Well, it’s no skin off my wing, this bubble ain’t gonna burst ’Cause I can tell just by looking that you’d come first You think you’re hot to trot? You think you’re Faberge? [RH] Bitch, I’m hotter than a sidewalk on a sunny day I’m gonna burst; I’m gonna bust; I’m gonna blow my load [LF] I’m gonna beat your ass! That’s why I crossed the road! [RH] You better watch yourself! I’ll take your legs and arms I’ll wrap you up in plastic like you’re Foster Farms [LF] I’ll have you off a wall before you have the chance You’ll be like Humpty Dumpty with no Humpty Dance [RH] I’ll bring all my horses, I’ll bring all men And we’ll all take turns coming into your pen [LF] You wouldn’t stand a chance – I got a whole damn flock [RH] I don’t believe you, girl! It’s all ”bok bok bok!” I’ll cut your head off, bitch! [LF] I’ll make you egg drop soup! [RH] I’ll be the fox that finds you in your chicken coop! [LF] Oh, whatever you do, son, I’m gonna do worse! [Both] Cuz everybody on the planet knows that I came first! [Hook]