Haunted

I'm haunted I'm being haunted I'm being haunted, by the sins I committed In the past The ones that Allah said to abstain from But somehow I didn't listen Was it because I didn't want to listen? Or was it Satan? I want out, I want out of these nightmares These night terrors that I'm scarred with. Who knows, who else knows that I committed these sins? These gravely sins? All these unforgotten mistakes It's all in my head, I can't get it out These flashbacks of all the sins in the pastime Those sins whom I thought will never come back, caught up with my tracks, they came Back to haunt me Everywhere I go, it reminds me of a sin I can't hide it from myself, not even from Allah He knows what's in our hearts What blacken us Our guilt that eat us I want to cry because all these people smiling at me They're azamed at me, they're azamed of what Allah hides about me They smile lightly, wanting to know me But I did something bad, that I don't even trust myself Or anyone I want to confess, I reveal to Allah, but I'm afraid his ceature will hear it Then go outside to the world and expose it I believe if I set my foot in a room, full of people They'll look at me in disgust, like a bubble-gum covered with musk Some of them will laugh, some will slander Some will be disappointed, as one points and shouts "Look it's the sinner!" At that moment, I'm just thinking to cage myself And hide myself more Those who loves me, would want to help me Are wondering "What is she hiding?" "Why is she shaking? what is she thinking? Isn't she confessing?" Ya Allah! Help me please I committed a sin, I want to confess because it's eating my heart Darking my mind, making me blind Revealing my character bit by bit Time to time I'm starting to go insane, cause my words with reveal unexpectly, I won't even know what came over me Dear Allah, If you hear me, please forgive me, and all my sins, all the evil affairs That are eating me As your ceature, I will pray to you Ready to worship you Ready to leave the dunya, and come the Akrikah I will now come to deen, come to the light, the path of Sirtal Mustaqeem As I pray while reading surahtul Faitha Years are passing by, slowly I'm becoming finally free But I'm still being haunted I'm still being haunted by the sins I once committed