The Saurus vs J-Pro

[Round 1: The Saurus] Before they announced my name you had the whole crowd seated And Rich ain't show up so now you get that show out treatment Your opponent couldn't cross the border: ain't that sweet? So now them URL bars you got is aimed at me? I hopped a flight last-minute soon as they paid that fee I boarded (aborted) but it was Pro choice to take Plan B Man it sucks that battle didn't work out, cause shit is gettin' worse now You 'bout to feel that same fire that brought the Hindenberg down You ain't battlin' Rich Dolarz no more, but after I spit this first round I bet $100,000 you gon' wish you were now Ninja focus, you get checked with something extra like a Christmas bonus I don't pick opponents, I hunt and kill them in the moment Took this shit on 20 minutes notice I've been the coldest, if I hit him, Pro gets stapled down the middle like a centerfold is When in Rome, you gettin' thrown in the arena Lookin' like a Mexican Ice-T, Corona and Tequila Peep the gold gloves: Midas Touch E.T., light him up Get beat by an iron club like the Ryder Cup I tried to warn him, you're no match for me, Pro It's no accident I'll run you over on both fields on some Bo Jackson shit! Don't ask for this I'm not someone to throw hands against Tryin' to play hero will only get Pro tagged in this (protagonist) Closed-casket bitch, you know I'm brick-solid How'd you go from Rich Dolarz to the ghost of Chris Wallace? I'm nice! [Round 1: J-Pro] So this is the replacement for Rich Dolarz? A quick combo will open you up like a gym locker I'll beat you til my hands more bloody than Stigmata Til a bone is poppin' out of your nose like a witchdoctor You got more holes in your face than a hockey mask If looks like you and Freddy Kruger had a boxing match I'm glad you replaced Rich, I'd have dropped his ass And tossed Dolarz around this stage like it's pocket cash I'm the core revolutionary that ran through 'em A brown beret in the driver's seat lampooning A Black Panther in the shotgun; Cam Newton Clap through him, Rasputin Y'all saw what I did to Bulletz, I turned this bitch to a mass shootin' Now I'm back, I get love from these Toronto fans I know you like to gamble Pete but this is not yo' hand Check the name on the venue, I go HAM I got the Queen Elizabeth goin' crazy, I'm the Macho Man Ooooh yeaaaah! Son I'm a Savage How y'all replace him for Rich? Money is average You're an average Joe You battled Illmac' and tried to leave your man exposed But he killed you, we saw the box on stage like a magic show Then Deadman put you in a casket closed You always been a shaky-ass performer: Amber Rose Your fat jiggles when you rap in each direction Walkin' around in real life lookin' like you're in three dimensions Mexican's roll deep, you better seek protection My cartel (car tell) in the streets like I need directions Where's your career headed, Pete? It's been six years since your best battle You're barely enhancin' You're still tryin' to top yourself: Marilyn Manson You were the man in the freestyle era, you were livin' the dream But battle rap changed and you don't fit in the scene You ain't Lebron James, this is your king? You more like Malone, Stockton, you'll never win in the ring Mr. Two Time Everything, the old champ's back Now excuse him while he gives himself a Pat on the back Charron's tramp stamp It took a while to react, they still don't get it How'd you birth a thousand battlers and still look pregnant? [Round 2: The Saurus] Yo, that one bar you said about Mexican's was subpar Cause yeah, y'all do roll deep, but all of you are in one car This was supposed to be your big moment homie, breathe it in a bit Cause now they got you battlin' me, reconsider it I got it sewn, no need to stick a needle into it How fitting, Randy Savage in a ring at Queen Elizabeth Most people need two months for this shit, give me a week I'll waste the first six days writin' my victory speech Your chicky? She been itchin' to get this mystery meat So I passed that piece (peace) pipe like an Indian chief You bringin' me beef? Fuck it, it's smack down time Rooftop, when I say "jump" don't ask, "How high?" You said you'd body Blackout 5, you flat out lied Cause I'm the winner (winter) so cold you think you('d) back outside This sounds fine, who else could do this on one day's prep? Show interest, then it's settled like an unpaid debt I'm headline worthy you ain't made a front page yet So is me replacing Rich Dolarz an upgrade? YES! I just ain't stressed about this little goof I'm still the truth, you little fuckin' pygmy, you Look up at me when I'm killin' you! If he loses, no matter where he go he get laughed at And if he wins? Fuck it, Rey Mysterio gets his mask back [Round 2: J-Pro] Yo, you revolutionized battle rap? Pete miss me Your only revolution was goin' through 180 to 360 Yo Peter Morris, when did you eat The Saurus? He's enormous, how do your feet support this? You're a freakin' walrus Back stabbin' your best friend was your peak performance You battled Illmac' that was '09, must be a slow grind Cause it's 2015 and you been wack....this whole time I mean look at Dumbfoundead, Dizaster, even Soul Khan Then look at Pete doin' Soul Khan's slogan just tryin' to hold on...hold on...hold on! You still tryin' to hold to battle rap bro....oh my God Peter Morris is in my face I can't believe this {chokes and then freestyles} Fuck it, we gon' get through the rest of the round Just tryin' to show y'all how we freestyle we gettin' this now It was Blackout 5, let me blackout live You said you're so fuckin' cold I'd be back outside It doesn't really matter, I freestyle best on the market You're wearin' that fuckin' sweater so we can tell who the mark is Cousin, bust it, ooooh come on! You're still tryin' to hold on to battle rap? You should reexamine your life You're fuckin' with a Pro this ain't amateur night Tell your dogs I kill cats when I handle the mic I came to put an end to Peter (PETA) with these animal rights And I hope you came to punch back Cause Arsonal said he'd smack your daughter with his nut rag and you just stood there like, "Ho ho ho. Man I love that." Don't react while I'm killin' you, even through a choke, I don't want that You're the most embarrassing thing in battle rap since Chris Unbias's mustache Get out of them Facebook groups, where you diss the fans You talk more shit to Stans than Vince McMahon Yeah I overuse similes, I tip my hand I drop more likes than Hitman Holla's Instagram Fake follwers But I don't need a brother to hold me up, ampin' the crowd I don't got a gun so big I gotta drag it around I got 30 pages of rhymes to make you crash through the crowds And have the whole crowd lookin' like Christian 818 durin' Canibus' rounds Dude I got through a choke it's awfully goofy I'm who you C.O.D. it's my Call Of Duty Be honest pussy, I'll rock your kufi You've been put in the air by more battlers than Bonnie's booty Everybody on this card beat him You lost to 100 Bulletz bro? [Thesaurus] No [J-Pro] Yes you did. You lost to him in the UK [T] I didn't [J] Fuckin' liar [T] Indecisive [J] Bullshit [T] He spit Pokemon bars [J-Pro] Last year I caught a body for sure I gave him punch after punch; Gotti and Ward I had him makin' excuses, soon as he walked through the door Bulletz was hangin' onto his chest like a Somalian war You lose a lot, I maneuver plots I'll kill you with the cool side of the pillow, word to Stuart Scott You were hot, in the WRC's but your future flopped You get more ass every year that's a booty shot [Round 3: The Saurus] First off I can freestyle way better than you dawg Off top, Sports Center; one shot: BOOYAH! And now I'm 'bout to dead it son You got 30 pages of rhymes up in this motherfucker? Thank God you finally remembered one Yeah you heard it son, it ain't until this verse is done Where the fuck y'all think lil' Charron learned it from? They say a good defense is the best offense I'd say you were best off tossin' the towel at the press conference Next topic: when you stretch bars I get nausious Left cross, you bring out the worst in me like sweat lodges So just stop it, off top yo this scene's not scripted Ironic, I hit J and he got lifted Two pumps and ain't a pair of Reebok's with it Watch Pete coach Pro, no Seahawk's tickets Now this shit? Homie this shit, it's backhanded time Fuck what Pro has in store I can't stand the line Fuck what J has in store yo I can't stand the line (that would've been way better if I would've said that) Now you gettin' flattened by me I guess it's over buddy I'm 'bout to...break your fuckin' face and now you owe me money That was from the last event, I'ma come up and snap your neck This is me, the fuckin' main speaker here, catchin' wreck Now if I passed away tomorrow...I think the whole world-it would probably shut the world down Wait, but if J-Pro died tomorrow they'd be like, "Fuck. Who's gonna work the door now?" Time FUCK! [Round 3: J-Pro] Yo man it's alright, we both did it [Thesaurus] I did it because of you. You inspired me [J-Pro] We're in this together dude [Thesaurus] We are. It was a team effort [J-Pro] Yo! Back to being a dickhead [Thesaurus] True. True [J-Pro] I heard Uno boned your ex, banged her for weeks Did her worse than Mystique then shovel danced in your sheets Then I heard you guys ran train, I guess Peter is right You two time everything, even your wife I'm so deadly, two can' same result; Coke/Pepsi You get ex'ed out and stay thirsty; Dos Equis I saw you get killed by Dan, don't test me You let that man go nuts in your face; Loe Pesci You traveled all that flight distance and I'm glad you made it Cause as soon as they turn that FilmOn we seen that Rich bitch fuckin' up more battles than Alki David You seen that footage; Lush wrestling Alki Ran up on him, then grabbed his neck in the lobby This would've been similar to that, I'd be catchin' a body Cause that Rich fool be chokin' in the ring more than Ted Diabiase Yeah I brought bars about wrestlin' moves You're the fuckin' man for tryin' to step in his shoes But now I gotta leave you dead, you'll be left in a tomb Jimmy Fallon Show, leave him next to The Roots Kick him a couple times, like, "Yeah that's a real body" I don't feel this pussy; Charron when he drills Tarsi I know your real hobbies, playing online poker and beer pong with Bill Cosby First punch, put him in a daze, that's Rico Second punch, put him back in a daze (days); that's Skee-Lo Third punch, death ridin' beside him, that's evil Fourth punch, they'll be ridin' (writin) together Mac Lethal That BOLA shit, right? He hit me like, "Pro it's last minute are we riding together?" I was like, "From the airport?" He was like, "Nah, literally writing together?" Fuck that I'm applying the pressure This is Pete's peril, a last second call got you picked off; Pete Carrel He's like, "Yo when you see Hawks (Seahawks)" you blaze nada How did y'all expect a gambling addict to save Dolarz? I know you're in Las Vegas, playin' your little cards And late night The Saurus goes to underage titty bars [Thesaurus] Do those exist in Vegas? [J-Pro] He's like, "Do those exist? Man that isn't real But then he turns into Loaded Lux when he gets caught, "I just had to get the feel" I'm just freestylin' You should be on Loaded Lux level, I mean The Saurus old He was battlin' since cave painting in Morse code You can tell a The Saurus fan from they wardrobe Cause only computer geeks think Saurus cold (source code) He's like, "Scribble Jam! Scribble Jam! We freestyled it was raw it's impossible!" That was just off beat dick jokes and more pre-meds than a volunteer hospital