Marlo and Shuffle-T vs Dirtbag Dan and Caustic (Round 3)

[Marlo] Dissing me for balding blatantly ‘Cause you wished that your ginger wife actually shared the same fate as me [Shuffle-T] You’re right, I am a speech enthusiast And it’s never fiction It’s more like your Dad ‘cause when I rap my meth addiction (method diction) [Marlo] Now Lush assured us that we were gonna get plenty of ass on the West Coast Even went as far as to offer us his family members Well since our plane landed, you will not believe the action we’re tasting I met a chick yesterday at ??? station Her rack was amazing and she was Asian We started chatting away and she asked me back to her place ‘Cause she needed some help getting her mattress inflated Anyway, I showed her a picture of my girlfriend and said I’m happily taken WELL-MANNERED BRITS! She started backing away then gave me a double thumbs up and started randomly waving [Shuffle-T] Cali’s amazing Especially when you’re as awesome as this Yesterday went to talk to a chick, awkward as shit Four minutes in, boring the bitch But let’s just say, the oral was sick By which I mean she was orally sick Caustic ya prick! You look like you’ve been drawing your beard on with a marker tip Your facial hair is worse than Marlo’s is You look like John Turturro in Barton Fink if he went apple bobbing in a barber’s sink Hey Dan, great performance against Charlie Clips Fuckin’ idiot! It was the total opposite The only bit I liked from that chokathon was this Seven minutes 17 seconds, go and watch the clip You go to bop his fist but he don’t respond with his So you just hang for a second and drop pathetically like Wile E. Coyote floating off the cliff And that rejection probably sent him into seething pain ‘Cause being self-obsessed is in his DNA And guess what America? I’m not gonna rhyme that with Aaliyah’s plane Why does everybody keep rhyming shit with Aaliyah’s plane? That was 13 fuckin’ years ago that scheme is played Stop bringing it up or you’ll be going down-- [Marlo] Like Aaliyah’s plane! Now I didn’t want to be the one to pass the message But you’re both getting old and you can’t accept it You still getting on your little skateboards, Dan? Still trying to shred it? You can’t really go on a skateboard anymore can you? You’re far too heavy That’s why I said it Both of them are trying to grab on to their youthful cheer Dan uses slang he doesn’t know hasn’t been used for years Walks up like “What’s up daddio, what’s the scoop in here? You guys have been out skateboarding? TUBULAR!” And your music video to “Concentrate” You got that shit poppin’, Dan You’ve even got Caustic downing a beer at the end and then he flips off the cam Yeah, you’ve still got it, lads That’s why Dan’s our biggest supporter at nearly 33 It started off on his show just kind of inadvertently But now he’s basically like our really pushy parent Enforcing the strictest work regime “Come on guys, that really didn’t fuckin’ work for me This is our fifth rehearsal, let’s see a bit of urgency” Every battle that we’re in he’s standing in the wing Goes all Joe Jackson with a stick if we’re not spitting perfectly He waves his fist frustrated if we skip a word ’cause he thinks we did it purposefully And then his face goes like Anchorman’s son, a little Burgundy The last time a parent pushed me that hard she was in a surgery, lying on her back fuckin’ giving birth to me He watches over us like we’re kids in nursery Trying to use us only so to live out his disturbing dream Stop trying to recapture your youth through us you sick, perverted freak ‘Cause we’re fighting back this time like a Prince of Persia scene How’s it going, Pinocchio? Fuckin’ nose like a Toblerone You need a reality check if you’re planning again to go in exposing mode I mean if every single fuckin’ week your own kid’s at home exposed to you Stoned on ya homie’s show or posing drunk before a battle trying to pose like it’s totally dope You need to question as a parent if you’ve shown him the ropes, you know? ‘Cause your role model levels, lower than poRICH’s vocal tone This is the guy they call the career ender More like the fuckin’ tattletale who’ll say anything to get them to listen Caustic brings up your alleged convictions And then he’ll sketch a description so that a sentence is given But it’s not detention or prison, it’s dealt in a written And even two posh guys from Reading in Britain can tell that it’s snitchin’ It’s as if all he’s doing is embellishing wisdom But he brought up the way Jeffy was living So attention was driven from his own tensions with women You ignore your own problems by taking your enemies shit and exposing them in an instance But he’s developed addiction Worse than Dirtbag’s Dad with his meth in the kitchen You ever think they way you act with leave effects on your infant? Like he won’t see Daddy doing drugs and remember it hit him? Though he thinks he dealing justice that’s just his devils within him Trying to find a place to hide away from his own pathetic existence And whilst we’re here, on the West Coast, in neutral grounds, in the Western Contingent We thought we’d put our diplomatic ties to work ‘Cause frankly, all this silly international bother has got us sad and kind of hurt So before Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan and Dan recite their third Organik, we want to put this Don’t Flop spat behind us first Shuffle! What’s that you have inside your shirt? A peace treaty! Gee, really? And it’s signed by Eurgh Whoa! Now Dizaster, this isn’t laminated And it’s our only copy So if you can oblige, sir Now Organik Fuck it, Lush If you can sign here, we can have a night of mirth And some fireworks Sorted, BOLA The war is over Woo! [Dirtbag Dan and Caustic] These fuckin’ 90-pound pussies talking real greezy You better be ready to turn up You do fuckin’ three minutes about me and Jeff and then you start bringing his girl up Yo, if you bring up my fuckin’ son I’ma punch you in your nuts Do you follow soccer, by the way? No, you should have wore your World Cup These fuckin’ queens did a battle where they licked the cream out of Oreos That shit wouldn’t be gayer if you filmed the whole thing through a glory hole You just do whatever Eurgh tells you to, honestly, what the fuck for? Sure, Shuffle can get the cream off a cookie faster We both know which one of you sucks more So wait Y’all just ate the middle of the cookie? I don’t think that’s the way it should be Bunch of white guys eating the white part of the cookie? I dunno, that shit sounds pretty fuckin’ racist to me Well I bought some Oreos today and I’ve got just the plan Let’s do a web redemption since we’re up on cam Before we finish this round, one of you eats one of these fuckin’ cookies like a fuckin’ man Anybody? Cookie? Biscuit? Biscuits? And y’all trying to be the fuckin’ champs? Shit, Peter and Greg will put y’all to shame Look it’s Adam and Theo More like Adam and the old ball and chain Yo, I can’t wait for the day your little relationship finally ends ‘Cause one would die without the other You’re basically fuckin’ Siamese friends Is this how you wanna spend the rest of your future? Your best friend’s a loser, a desperate moocher, surviving off your talent and your sense of humor This is Hollywood, Shuffle I brought you out here to make maneuvers I’ve been to that shitty country you’re from I know you want to escape your future Your father basically lives at the pub but you can’t blame him for being a daytime boozer ‘Cause your mom’s a typical British bitch She got big old tits with a face like Cruger’s That’s ‘cause her ancestors are incesters That’s the problem with your country, fam Your aunt’s father’s were in sisters So your Grandmother looks like a fuckin’ man Wait a minute, Dan Since we’re battling British kids don’t you think we should put it in some shit they can understand? Okay Shuffle’s Nan has supple cans but her face resembles Russell Brand That’s fuckin’ disgusting, you couldn’t pay me to stuff her clam Don’t be in such a rush now, Dan I mean on the other hand A nice guy like me could stomach Shuffle’s nan For a couple grand I’ll fuck the bitch dressed like I’m fuckin’ Uncle Sam America! Fuck yeah! You’ll hear the rockets red glare when they cockin’ and spray It’s a revolution so when it’s party time, I’ma throw T off the Dock Of The Bay I’m like Daniel Boone when those cannons boom I’m like Davy Crockett when I wave these rockets I’m like George Washington when I… Dan, you’re not fuckin’ George Washington, stop it This hyper America bullshit is fuckin’ way too obnoxious Fuck that shit, Caustic They used to fear the beard, I lose a couple battles and now I’m doubted? It’s like y’all forgot who burned down Ness Lee’s house just so I could write a fuckin’ round about it Sorry, Ness! You beat us in a dream you better wake up and apologize He’s holding back your character, you basically Han Solo in the carbonite You couldn’t walk a mile in his shoes You couldn’t fill an inch of his condom size It’s like without Shuffle the entire operation is compromised It’s pretty safe to say I know where the problem lies ‘cause without you one of ‘em will not survive I’ma give you a minute to let that sink into your head like Marlo’s eyes Basically, as far as them bars go Me and Caustic got stripes like a barcode People in the back are like, “Why didn’t they write more Shuffle bars?” Well that’s easy ‘Cause Shuffle’s fuckin’ awesome, dude Fuck you, Marlo!