Marlo and Shuffle-T vs Dirtbag Dan and Caustic (Round 1)

[Marlo and Shuffle-T] Fuck the U.K.! Fuck the monarchy Fuck tea Fuck the fuckin’ NHS Having a Prime Minister is gay And our accents a joke Daniel we know We just covered 99 percent of the angles you wrote ‘Cause when you’re against international opponents you’re never direct with your lines Instead you rely on every cliché that exemplifies the well-known nation from where they reside If we were from The Federated States of Micronesia, the fuck would you say, Dan? You’d have a terrible time You need to stop depending on stereotypes you fat, gun-toting American guy And after recycling his leftovers from Deffinition They’re gonna call us homosexual, there’s a given So we thought we can make this more interesting And came up with a clever system Every time they say that we are gay and don’t have sex with women We’ll add another bar to our third round about Dan’s Dad’s meth addition You’re both called Dan Thanks for the name flip opportunities It’s Dan and Dan And even the and in Dan and Dan is an anagram of Dan So really it’s Dan and an anagram of Dan and Dan AKA Dan, Dan Dan Dan, Dan, Daaaan! Dan, Dan, Dan This Daniel here is so excited about this He’s the only person here who has been calling this match great When he got it confirmed he lifted up Caustic like Pat Stay His wife cooked him a big old breakfast this morning with ham steaks and all four of our faces drawn in the pancakes The caption underneath in powdered sugar read “Hope you all have a grand day” In preparation for today, this dude created a mood playlist of tunes and named it “The Shufflo Vibes” It’s literally “Happy” by Pharrell Williams duplicated a hundred times But let’s be real, we’re grateful to be on the West Coast You’ve got to laugh, most of the battles here today are proper hard These people here have paid and they want some bars And somehow us ridiculous comic marks have got the part at an event in which Diz, Verb and Hoffa star? What the fuck? Yo, Lush, listen Thanks a million, but you’re a bad magician This is not our card Surely this is a purely big mistake As soon as you got the flights paid for we knew something was up, dude Surely now no one with any money will trust you I can imagine him and Lush sitting just buzzing on mushrooms As soon as they hit confirm payment they went, “The fuck did we just do?” And Caustic, what the hell are you doing? You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan I think you’ve hit your head, you know? You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan! That’s a bigger risk than wearing those [points to Shuffle's shoes] Did you not see the flyer? Did it not click that this was set in stone? I know they call you the career ender I just didn’t think they meant your own Caustic is so pissed What the fuck are you doing here, Mr. Serious? What were you smoking? I can imagine when the trailer dropped and he watched the whole thing he called up Dirt like, “Oh man, I kind of thought you were joking” Mate, you didn’t think this through a damn bit Dan’s shit, trust me you can’t lift this human baggage And you know the kind of shit we pull Just silly kookie antics, fuckin’ immature dramatics This battle will destroy the image you’ve established Let’s take your interview with Rap Grid You just battled Aye Verb You said you wanted Big T Shit you even hinted moves to Patrick You’re a serious dude and that’s it But I guess in a room with Dan it’s simple who the man is So now you’re battling us Two nincompoops with wack kicks who sniff the boot and rap sick Just some kids who grew up acting and switched to do some rapping We’re so incredibly overrated there’s no sense in us going places And all that’s left we’re going to say is Caustic this is who you’re battling! [Dirtbag Dan and Caustic] Right Y’all ready? You know what rhymes with Marlo and Shuffle-T? Ah no, no no You know what? I don’t think we’re gonna do that What the fuck, man? Go ahead, you fuckin’ go Already fuckin’ this shit up, go ahead Yo, you wanna know what rhymes with Marlo and Shuffle-T? None of y’all can fuck with me Before I murdered Verb I was a certified vet But I’m white and I’m funny so I don’t get any respect I say fuck that shit I’m tried way less than Verb did in the end They only book my ass to ruin the integrity of the event The second he stepped on that stage, he was already dead I saw the bitch in his eyes, that’s how I knew I had got in his head And Illmac about to stomp his ass with the pen And if Verb got a problem with what I said, tell him to drink some fuckin’ water before you end up in fuckin’ hospital again bitch Hey, if you’re gonna get on your Verb shit, I’ma get on my bird shit ‘Cause y’all both white, like bird shit I’ll get the drop on ‘em like bird shit You fuck around with me you’ll end up all over the news like bird shit Yo you keep droppin’ all this bird shit You’re gonna get the fuckin’ bird flu like Verb did Fuck that shit I came to take your head like a trophy, T How it’s supposed to be Watch your British bitch get fucked on cam like Sophie Dee I watch porno too, right after my wife goes to sleep You know you fucked up when you accepted those flights? You know how close this is to Mexico, right? You’ll learn lessons in life if you get through the night Shit, you fuck around with me you’ll get Jefferson Price’d You know what happened to Jefferson Price? He got slapped by that fat bitch and it ended his life Marlo’s bitch look just life Jefferson’s wife To fuck he gotta lift the coochie fat While you’re out of town she got your homies at the place Putting cream on her face like a Gucci tat She barely let you fuck missionary They got the cameras out and the lights on Filming British movies after she open her snatch they give her the Full Monty Python Yo I said I’m good in the hood I know L.A. crooks They let this British fairy come all the way out to L.A. shook I choke you in front of everybody, I’ll let L.A. look I’ll put him in that super mega hold, that’s L.A. Looks Which one of these fuckers are you talking to? Combover or Doctor Who? What the fuck is a Doctor Who? You know? Fuckin’ Doctor Who Doctor Who like Chinese dude on sauce in Doctor Who [?] No, Doctor Who, it’s a TV show on the BBC, dude with the Tardis There’s a BBB show about a Chinese dude who’s retarded? No Caustic If there was, I would totally watch it Look that’s way off topic, stay by us No I said we’re Californian, I need you to stay bias Plus, we’ve got these big beautiful beards and they’ve got facial hair like fuckin’ gay pirates Hey, these faggots think that they invented multis You come from the wrong scene These fuckin’ bizarre dweebs have been fuckin’ with our steez It’s nothing for one of us to… hundreds of long schemes But the trouble with that Shuffle is what do the bars mean? I’m tryin’ to make a sonnet to tug at your heartstrings You’re trying to force multis, some of them aren’t clean So if you’re going to take your whole fuckin’ shit from the WRCs Try to limit it to a couple of bars, please