Walk Like Thunder

[Verse 1: Kimya Dawson] I have this new tattoo of which the story must be told About the night I almost overdosed ten years ago I woke up in the hospital with skin clammy and cold And tubes in my urethra, down my throat, and up my nose My friends and the doctors were all shocked I wasn't dead That's when Katrina looked at me and this is what she said [Hook: Kimya Dawson] Walk like thunder Walk like thunder Walk like thunder Walk like thunder [Verse 2: Kimya Dawson] So I walked to the rebel spot, I walked all over uptown I walked right side up and I walked upside down I walked to Chetzemoka with my eyes fixed on the ground yeah We walked all over Chetze Beach and kept the rocks we found Then I walked back to my parents' house, I walked back to my old bed yeah I walked back and I walked fast past all the voices in my head I walked with the sweats and I walked with the chills I walked in New York City and I walked in Bedford Hills I walked into open mic nights and I walked into the rooms I walked feeling optimistic and I walked feeling doomed I walked with some mama's boys and I walked with some punks I walked dressed up like a rabbit, I walked dressed up like a skunk I walked with some givers and I walked with some leeches I walked all by myself and I walked with the Moldy Peaches I walked all over the world so I could sing my songs to you And to your most desperate emails I said, "this is what I do." [Hook: Kimya Dawson] I Walk like thunder Walk like thunder Walk like thunder Walk like thunder [Verse 3: Kimya Dawson] But at some point I got so comfortable That I didn't even realize that I'd started to crawl That my old friend Ammi died at 37 of a heart attack And I cracked ‘cause people my age are not supposed to die like that No no no no people my age are not supposed to die like that He was the old manager of the sidewalk café That place was a second home to me, it's where I learned to play And his personality really helped create a space Where a bunch of honest misfits could all gather and feel safe He was a cynic, a supporter, he was crazy, he was queer He'd either yell out "cut the bullshit" or, he'd say "I'm glad you're here" And it was always such an honor to have Ammi on my side That's why it hit me like a Mack truck when I found out that he died Yeah, it hit me like a Mack truck when I found that he died Then enter Alex, 33 years old and so sick with the cancer And trapped inside a body that betrayed his real gender We all hoped and prayed that he would go into remission At least long enough, just long enough to complete his transition He said, "Kimya, did you know Eleventeen's my favorite song?" I said "then get your ass on stage right now and you can sing along" That's the very first song I ever wrote all by myself It's about angels and recovery and friends and hope and health By the time we finished singing he was pissed off, he was scared He said "I lost my home, my lover, my insurance, and my hair And now I'm about to lose you too, my new friend." I looked into those big blue eyes and said “we'll meet again” Yeah I looked into his sad blue eyes and said “we'll meet again” Then I got the phone call from Alyssa, and she told me he was dying By the time I got to his bedside we were both already flying We held hands and we sang songs tried to be strong floated around While I cursed the skin that he was in for all the ways it had let him down Yeah I cursed the skin that he was in for all the ways it had let him down But at the same time I was taking my own body for granted First I lost sight of my feet then they became unplanted And I never felt so stupid or so selfish or so sad yeah I body had been good to me and I treated it so bad yeah My body had been good to me and I treated it so bad Then he said "mama, I don't want my friends to watch me die." So I kissed his cheek, made him a shirt, and then I said goodbye And they cremated him in the shirt that I drew Of the two of us that said they're flying over you too Now the silver pink ponies have my homie in their crew So I tightened up my laces and knew what I had to do [Bridge: Kimya Dawson] I started walking again, I started walking again I miss my friends I started walking again, I started walking again I miss my friends [Hook: Kimya Dawson] x3 [Verse 4: Aesop Rock] Even creatures of habit predisposed To systematically clinging together in the cold Know the measure of a pack, it's not a question of the whole But the individuals that bottleneck into the fold On a March black Sabbath News from the ministry of make-believe that reach a tarmac in Minneapolis Middle seat, yesterday the cells inside his chest were growing baby teeth Today a raven radiated vacancy Wait-two years ago a friend of mine Called me to redefine all enemy-kind I'm at the hospital in twenty-four and no one knew the future I'll take it everybody knows the future Antibodies hatching in a hella back with no room to maneuver Like disappearing pills into the masticated fuchsia I asked you how you feeling, you told me like a robot I gave you a Nintendo, you gave yourself a mohawk You let us wheel you down beneath the leaning tower of flow charts To be around your beats without a beeping sound of bogart And speak about whatever people speak about When nobody's acknowledging the obvious disease about to crowbar in Deplane slow, comatose of baggage From King of Hearts to carrion for jackals And never got to sing us all his own swan song right Coincidentally the rebel in me walked like thunder Walk like thunder