I wonder

[verse 1] Black man runs in with a black mask Gun pointed and he asked where the cash at Fuck that, all i wana know is where my dad at Scratch that, yall don't really wana hear this flashback Why this nigga always making sad raps Am i suppose to make shit for yall laugh at If i don't take my raps serious, who else will Fuck gettin scholarships, id rather take a record deal Hah, i always wondered what it feels like All i know is when it happens, it'll feel right This moment right here, yea it feel nice Like way back when i bought my first mic Dam, all the pain that i held inside Suicide thoughts that i kept in my mind How you ever felt that you're losing your mind Have you ever felt your illusions alive Yo Bennett where the raps at Hey MacXVII where my dap at Just turned 17, where the cash at Outside school sellin CD's in my backpack [verse 2] Dam, we gotta eat right And im all up in the stu makin beats right Dealers all up my booth, makin beats nice So when the money come through, we gotta feast right, we gotta feast right I stopped writing for a long time I even prayed to God that ill never live a lie Told my therapist that i ain't wana be alive But ain't it real funny how God works sometimes Nails done with yo pretty ass But you never on time, whats the deal with that No sleep cuz we up all night It'll be a long ride, better hold on tight, better hold on tight Takin pics from the chest up We can have a lil fun til i mess up Takin shots till she popped in that x pill Body look good and lips taste like nestles Lights off, make a movie baby Wax on, wax off, we can do it maybe In the booth til my phone die All i need are my beats, let the world die, let the world die But this is all a dream A dr.king speach is really all i need No worldstar, no flashy things, my life through a filter is all i see [verse 3] Mercure, Cap, Dame, Ezito, and even Devin I got love for you all but im tryna murder you niggas This ain't even a diss but im still holding the trigger Never contemplated this cuz its way deeper and bigger Still slept on, try and get em out of bed Waking up at 5 so that i can write instead The old me is gone, "dead" I said that i'd never change, yea im blessed Keep it goin, keep it goin, let the beat live Take in every breathe i release til my lungs give Laptop, ipad, beats on my mic stand Ima keep on hittin every beat like a drum kit And i ain't even gotta ryhme Like Donald Glover said "There's a million ways to shine" All this work, ima show my grind Makin hit songs, i ain't even in my prime yet And shout out to all the kids in the projects Cuz one of them will be a hero in the process Goin off the top, impromptu, aloniz Writin all these raps man thats how i keep my time spent Never hate the player, its the game I use to blame it on my name even tho its still the same cuz its common Remember 07 watchin late night toonami Its been 7 years please remind me bought my father I still blame that nigga for Bianca I still kinda wish i had father But whatever doesn't die gets stronger While we're alive, just survive, go longer I still wonder what this means to me I still wonder what it means to be I still wonder if it's make believe I still wonder if it's meant for me Still writin up my plan Still tryna find my brand Back in 20 12 with that knife hand Thinkin back now, what knife could've did What that knife could've did I could've died that day But God couldn't do me that way So as long as im safe, ima stay