Calling You

[Verse 1: KB] It must have been 3AM when the text came in The sum of my fears My stomach bendin', my thumb was tremblin' No pun intended, but I wanted to die When I saw it was him Then it read, "KB, this time it's real, homie I can't live" It was in all caps But I knew he had no caps on his gun or his pills So I ripped out the door All the covers down on the floor No shoes, I just walk on my tears Callin' him over and over and over again While I'm throwing the car in to gear How could he be so selfish? Will this effort fail too? Why won't he answer, answer, answer, he answered! "Jason, hello?" [Hook: Natalie Lauren] Suicide, suicide, suicide Got one in the chamber It's waitin' to take you right out tonight Don't roll the dice, roll the dice, roll the dice It's all on the table, it's all for the takin' But what's the odds? [Verse 2: KB] I parked in the street At the car with the keys Should I call the police? What if he turns it on me? Then I looked up, is that him over the sink? I can't think My tongue is as heavy as my heart, I can't speak Every time I blink I'm a step closer My heart about to burst As I close up on the front door and give the doorbell a ring It was unlocked so I ran to the top staircase As I stare at a case on the floor "Jason, open up" Continued to knock "Jason, open up, you ain't gotta do this" What about the kids? Don't go Judas, you got reason to live We could get through this, don't give in" Then I heard movement and a voice I'll never forget He said, "Stop it, stop it! I'm about to cock it! You barely called back when I was in Iraq Just leave homeboy, I got this You know the truth is I had to shoot kids I'm so guilty (Open the door!) And God might let it go (Open the door!) But I'll never forgive me (Jason!) Why not? (I care, I care about you) The Army never trained me to care You don't know the horror of living in a war zone Then coming back to civilian affairs I made my bed, the tables were set My wife moved out, I don't see my kids Everything that gave me meaning is gone The grief’s deep-seeded and bleeds to the bone I want out! [Hook] [Verse 3] I ain't have a word, not a story not a verse But the silence...I'm trying not to make this worse I pray and I googled a search Nothing from school that will work But I grew up in the church, so what do I do? Just fell to my knees and I started to blurt I don't understand this, I don't understand this But you been looking to the weed and them dancers Don't be conned by the Ye Nobody in the West got the answers Let's get established, your life isn't yours to demand it You can't do what you please Jason, I love you, but the next step is God homie You ain't escaping a thing You know Jesus he wanted to die in that garden Acquainted to man in his sorrows But he kept up the fight Cause he knew joy, it was coming tomorrow You haven't squeezed that revolver Cause you know that there's hope at the end of the tunnel Embrace it, don't matter how faint it God is not silent, please hear what he's... *gunshot* [Outro Dialogue] *Knocking* "Jason!" *Phone dialing* 911 Operator: 911 whats your emergency? KB: Yes, uh I-I gotta friend, and uh, he's locked himself in the bathroom and I just heard a gun go off and I don't know *Sirens in background* 911 Operator: Okay, calm down sir, are you able to get inside the room? KB: Yeah, he, he's got me locked out 911 Operator: Okay, can you try to get inside the room? KB: Hold on, I'ma try to *door kicks open* 911 Operator: Sir? KB: Jason! Okay, he's-he's not shot, he dropped the gun but he's passed out 911 Operator: Sir, I'm gonna need you to calm down KB: No you calm down! Send help quick! [Words sung in background of the Outro] I see you I hear you Hope is calling you I see you I hear you Hope is calling you Hope is calling you Hope is calling you