The 29th Hour

Im stuck inside deep depression...transgression and regretting No forgetting of how I let in demons and no forgettin Of the misdirection I was kept in...ignoring blessings Not thanking God enough, but instead kept disrespecting Never taking steps to correction, just thinking with my erection Crying thru blunts, tearing thru smoke and laughin confessions Will I ever get out? I used to think it to myself Never cared about my health, thinking money meant wealth Putting family on the shelf, even when I needed help I loved myself thru seeing one and seeing someone else But these feelings remain stealth...i was the leader of my pack Never cared about the world, just only the world of rap Till I turned my back, caught in my ways, fell face flat Made it out alive and still stay thankful for that... Built like a stone stat(ue), great at what I do..a known fact Put work in on the street, but now more where the home's at But will I succeed? or one day go back to puffin trees Everynow and then I like to hit the ski's where I sneeze And scheme a little cheese without really feeling guilty Still sinning...am I clean or just a little less filthy? Thoughts will never change...this world is forever strange Even though I consider these some of my "better daze I've got a lot to learn...but in the same note, a lot to teach A lot of listening to do, a lot wisdom I should preach But who I am to preach? I'm just another student in classroom Of life, with no break for even going to the bathroom It makes me kinda bashful, to say the things I know not Bc knowledge is power and weakness can have u shot Dead in a plot with a tombstone that says "Forget me not" Will I be forgiven for sinning or burn where it's hot Purgatory, in the midst of all my days living I think about where I'll be when I die, instead living F*ck it.. Who am I kidding...I'm the same jus new edition Lookin at my girl and thinking "who is this I'm kissing" And why the hell am I working..why the hell I ain't flirtin Why'd my father never bother and was a missing person? Why me and my brother dont speak, I have evil thoughts? Why do I continue to sin while I wear a cross? Why'd I tat Christ on my arm...and continue to do harm? Patience is a virtue, but it's hard to remain calm While these thoughts swarm, I'm just one man I understand...that I serve a purpose in God's Plan So I take time out and inhale a deep breath Point my finger to my head, my chest and then to right and left