Comfort of Comforters

A crippled individual, whose gifts are beyond lyrical Can't prohibit physical; thoughts u call me in critical Emotions where your mind state isn't pivotal...it's pitiful... I wrote this rhyme 2 in the morning in my car Drunk all alone just staring at the stars Unaware of who I was, outside the bar Unfamiliar faces & nobody knows who you are But The reason i started writing this rhyme Was cause I going thru a kinda difficult time I found myself gaining fame But losing loved ones I feel like nobody knows what it's like becoming "someone" Plus i kinda wish i had a trust fund Cause working check to check makes money add up to none With no HMO & No healthcare I'm Too proud to beg or be on welfare So... I wonder if I kill myself Would it equal a trip to hell with a clean bill of health? Would anyone even care? Or be sad if I wasn't there? I don't have the balls to ask people so i wouldn't dare I wanna enjoy the comfort of comforters in summer In an air conditioned room with a beautiful woman lover But..I never trusted women as much as I trust my mother And even 100% I fully couldn't trust her// I feel like I'm too coward to kill myself And too afraid to ask for help on how to heal myself But I ain't afraid to die And that shit ain't a lie Its just part of the reason why I continued writing this rhyme At 3:30 Cause to let go of hurting Depression leaves, I grieve but it keeps resurfacing I can't front, I'm tryin to snap out of it Cause for every ounce of happiness I feel a deeper sadness I guess I'm sick & twisted in your eye And tomorrow is full of sorrow and tear filled as I cry And bring a new day in Cause I believe in God, but that also means I believe in Satan And he always tries to find a way in If the kitchen is hot, my hand's on the stove (while it's) flaming Pain is real, that's why the truth hurts Whats valuable to me, to others has no worth Like myself I feel privileged to be on earth But if I die, I'll feed the planet as I rot under dirt So am I worth more dead or alive? Does even matter? Should I try to survive? I said I believe in God, so I'm hoping there's a heaven And I ain't fuck up too bad so I can (still) get in Maybe I'm forgetting... The sun is rising on the East But in the rest of the world it just set in *Note: The Cover was inspired by a fan from overseas (Shahryar Sabouri) who got the inspiration from me being half Iranian. He said that he took a picture of me off Google and modified it to look like a pseudo-marble like statue and place you over the Azadi Tower in Iran, since I'm half Persian and despite my handicap, I stand tall like the great monument with my message in the next album (Walk Twice As Hard)