Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog Act 2 Scene 4

Billy and Penny are sitting on top of the laundry machines eating frozen yogurt. Billy: I just, you know, really think I'm qualified for this job, and, I just can't get my foot in thedoor. Penny: I'm sure you will. Billy: I wanna do great things, you know? I wanna be an achiever, like Bad Horse. Penny: The Thoroughbred of Sin? Billy: I meant Gandhi. Penny: Well, I've gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times. Billy: I can't imagine anybody firing you. Penny: Neither could I. Now I can visualize it really well. But you know, everything happens... Billy: (interrupting) Don't say for a reason. Penny: No, I'm just saying that, everything happens. Billy: Not to me. Penny: Here's a story of a girl Who grew up lost and lonely Thinking love was fairy tale And trouble was made only for me Even in the darkness every color can be found And every day of rain brings water flowing To things growing in the ground Grief replaced with pity For a city barely coping Dreams are easy to achieve If hope is all I'm hoping to be Anytime you're hurt there's one who has it worse around And every drop of rain will keep you growing Seeds you're sowing in the ground So keep your head up, Billy buddy By this point, Billy and Penny are both seated on the bench. They go for a kiss, but then Penny decides against it. Penny: It's like Captain Hammer's always saying. Billy: *Pssh* Right. Him. How are things with Cheesy-On-The-Outside? Penny: Good. They’re good. He's nice. I'll be interested to know what you think of him; he said he might stop by. Billy: Stop by here? Penny: Yeah. Billy: Oh, goodness, look at my wrist. I gotta go. Penny: But, but what about your clothes? Billy: (looking inside the washer) I don't love these. See ya! Billy turns around and runs into Captain Hammer, who has just walked in the door. Captain Hammer: Oh! Pardon. Billy: Pardon. Penny: Um, Billy, this is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer: Ah! Billy, the laundry buddy. Well, it is very nice to meet you. Billy: We're meeting now for the first time. Captain Hammer: You look horribly familiar. Billy: One of those faces I guess. Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym? Billy: At the gym... Captain Hammer: I don't go to the gym; I'm just naturally like this. Oh well. Who wants to know what the mayor is doing behind closed doors? He is signing over a certain building to a Caring Hands group as a new homeless shelter. Penny: Oh my god! Captain Hammer: Yep. Apparently the only signature he needed was my fist. But with a pen in it, that I was signing with... Penny: I— I can't believe it. Billy: Congratulations. Penny: Thank you! Thank you! Penny kisses Captain Hammer in thanks. The buzzer for her laundry goes off. Oh! Penny goes to retrieve her laundry Billy: Well, this is great. I wish I could stay and chitchat. Billy attempts to leave, but Captain Hammer grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around Captain Hammer: Well, it sure was nice to meet you, Doctor. You got a little crush, don't you Doc? Well that’s gonna make this hard to hear. See, later I'm gonna take little Penny back to my place. Show her the command center, Hammer-cycle, maybe even the Ham-Jet. You think she likes me now? I'm gonna give Penny the night of her life, just because you want her. And I get what you want. See, Penny's giving it up, she's giving it up hard. 'Cause she's with Captain Hammer. (he raises his fists) And these are not the hammer. Captain Hammer starts to walk away, and then returns after a second Captain Hammer: The hammer is my penis. Captain Hammer and Penny walk out together. Billy stands in place. An evil grin comes across his face as the song begins. Billy: This appeared as a moral dilemma Cause at first it was weird, though I swore to eliminate The worst of the plague that devoured humanity it's true I was vague on the how, so can it be that you Have shown me the light It's a brand new day and the sun is high All the birds are singin' that you're gonna die How I hesitated now I wonder why It's a brand new day All the times thatyou beat me unconscious I'll forgive All the crimes incomplete, listen honestly I'll live Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-It-All is through Now the future's so bright and I owe it all to you Who showed me the light It's a brand new me, I've got no remorse Now the water's risin', but I know the course I'm gonna shock the world, gonna show Bad Horse It's a brand new day And Penny will see the evil me Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure And she may cry, but her tears will dry When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia It's a brand new day, yeah the sun is high All the angels sing because you're gonna die Go ahead and laugh, yeah I'm a funny guy Tell everyone goodbye It's a brand new day