Farmer's Almanac

[Verse 1] Well, the farmer prayed for a better year And the crops were good, for the Lord did hear But, his barn burned down with winter near The Answer came in white and black In the Farmers' Almanac, it says If a man can have half his wishes, he can double his trouble A sweet old lady was 84 When her kinfolks came for a month, or more Now, from overwork, she's on the other shore Much too late, she said, Now you all come back And, it says in the Farmers' Almanac Visitors, and fish, smell after 3 days Our leader was a silver tongued man He deceived the people of the land And when he got caught He couldn't stand It's a little of beat, and a little off track But, it says in the Farmers' Almanac In rivers and bad government, the lightest things float to the top Rod said, I don't believe in God Rod died, and now he lays beneath the sod For God did not believe in Rod Life is a trouble and a weary track But, it says in the Farmers' Almanac Feed your faith, and your doubts will starve to death The little boy followed the honey bee And it went straight to the honey's tree He got stung, but got the honey free Consolation for the things you lack Is in the Farmers' Almanac It also says God gave us the darkness, so we can see the stars He came home, three hours late, from work He said, I had a flat, and I fell in the dirt She said, Well, you have lipstick on your shirt Well, it turned out like Jill and Jack And, it says in the Farmers' Almanac Lies have to be covered up, Truth can run around naked He said, Honey, you know I'm true. I just look at other women, that's all I do Then, she caught him with her best friend, Peggy Sue Sometimes, some women DO look back And it says in the Farmers' Almanac There is a LOT of difference, between shopping and shoplifting I sat down at a shoeshine stand I had a very slow shoe-shine man I said, You sure don't pop that rag, like some of them can He looked at me, and answered right back It says in the Farmers' Almanac The trouble with the world today, is there is too much 'popping' and not enough 'shining My father's father was the wisest man I ever knew Sixty years of education Seven years of school Farming kept his body strong At night the only books he owned Kept his mind sharp as a tack The family bible and the Farmers' almanac [Chorus] When to plant When to harvest How you weed, just what you sow When to look for rain, and who to turn to when it don't There was a plan for early frost Salvation for the lost Words to live and die by front to back The family bible and the Farmers' Almanac [Verse 2] One came from his mother Handed down the day she died The co-op sent the other Every year at Christmas time He knew the seasons to the day Knew Paul and Peter by first name He could answer any question he was asked With the family bible and the Farmers' Almanac [Chorus] [Outro] He knew the way to get Through this life, and to the next While others spoke of faith He found the facts In the family bible and the farmers' almanac The family bible and the farmer's almanac