Jesus: The Missing Years

[Intro] Jesus The missing years [Verse 1] It was raining, it was cold West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old So he packed his bags and he headed out To find out what the world's about He went to France, he went to Spain He found love, he found pain He found stores so he started to shop He had no money, so he got in trouble with a cop Kids in trouble with the cops From Israel didn't have no home So he cut his hair and moved to Rome It was there, he met his Irish bride And they rented a flat On the lower east side of Rome Italy that is Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, Money Changers Spoon Benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks [Chorus] Charley bought some popcorn, Billy bought a car Someone almost bought the farm but they didn't go that far Things shut down at midnight, at least 'round here they do Cause we all reside down the block inside 23 Skidoo [Verse 2] Wine was flowing so were beers so Jesus found his missing years He went to a dance and said "This don't move me" So he hiked up his pants and he went to a movie On his thirteenth birthday, he saw Rebel Without A Cause He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind He gave the gift of love, went out of his mind You see, him and the wife wasn't getting along So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song Called 'The Dove Of Love Fell Off The Perch' But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church At least not back then, anyhow Jesus was a good guy He didn't need this shit So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and a Coca-Cola and he swallowed it He discovered the Beatles He recorded with the Stones Once he even opened up a three-way package In Southern California for old George Jones [Chorus] [Verse 3] The years went by like sweet little days With babies crying pork chops and Beaujolais When he woke up, he was seventeen The world was angry, the world was mean Why the man down the street, the kid on the stoop All agreed that life's stank, all the world smelled like poop? Baby poop that is The worst kind So he grew his hair long, threw away his comb Headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home But when he got there the cupboard was bare Except for an old black man with a fishing rod He said "What you gonna be when you grow up?" Jesus said "God" Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into? I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood They're gonna kill me, Mama, they don't like me, Bud So Jesus went to Heaven, he went there awful quick All them people killed him, they weren't even sick So, come and gather around me, my contemporary peers And I'll tell you all the story of Jesus the missing years [Chorus]