125 Part 4 (Finale)

[Produced by Frank Dukes] [Joell Ortiz] Yeah, dear Lord, why do I feel how I feel? I could move a thousand bundles of krills (uh-huh) I could hit the lottery for a mil', money no longer make me smile It's wild, stress hurt like buryin your first child I'm really losin my drive to do this music If it don't happen after this, I'm through wit it (done) 25, still live at my mom crib, two kids Ever heard that sayin "So smart you're stupid"? That's me, fourteen and change on my S.A.T.'s Chose the project over college, what a fuck up On the block hollerin at bitches like "Fuck you, you stuck up" But what could a shorty see in a jerk, a man when she leave? A man when she get back from work, what am I worth? (huh?) Then they said my pen could get me out the P's But he been away for five, so he don't see what I see Mom's like "Turn that down, I can't hear my TV (shit) Worryin about them beats, I ain't raised no deadbeats Better find you a application boy, get up on your feet" Though Mickie-D's was dirty, my rhyme book was neat Plus I ink my heart and soul in them sheets But uhh, holla at me though (word) I'm so unhappy yo Don't wanna be the dude in the barbershop that coulda made it (nah) In a cypher with young boys spittin shit that's outdated And them niggas walkin away like homie was overrated Life ain't a bitch, life is life and I hate it Never tried suicide, I ain't got the heart to pull it Know your brain feel pain when it's stained by that bullet (whoa) I don't wanna live, yet I don't wanna die (die) And have God say "You was about to do it Joell, why?" (why) Daddy, do you even care that yo' boy is still alive? Ain't seen you since '83, hello to you too (damn) Guess I was unimportant, and you had to do you Sad that I had to guess, that just added to my stress Moms did her best, naw fuck that! I don't get it How could you just go and forget that I existed? (your son) Guess I'm not like you, cause I ain't a punk (nope) I don't run away from problems, I solve 'em and man up Mom's said I got a step-brother named Jamel A older sister as well, forgot her name Why did we never meet? I was the only child (uh-huh) Who wasn't an only child (uh-huh) who felt lonely, wow (wow) How can I tell my sons about a grandpa I ain't know? I'm done with you yo, next topic I miss you James, I seen your daughters last month, they gettin big (yeah) I know you surprised in heaven that Yvette had a kid (ha ha) Wish we could sip, one more blue-y together In that RX-7, we all smelt like gas (ha ha) Still we hopped in the pool, shopped off and harass P.A. ain't the same without you Whenever me and P.O. get bent, that's my word, we think about you Rollin up your sleeve, that's when we knew you was drunk Remember that time your armpit had that yellowish stuff? (ha ha) What the fuck was that? Be proud of me, I'm comin up in rap Just waitin on my dough, you know the biz What up with Miz? Tell that nigga I said whattup DeVon gettin better in B-ball, his tall ass tryin to dunk Through this gift right here, I promise to stay in touch One, when will this bus come? Been waitin on this ride for years (years) All my shirts is stiff, from the driest tears What the fuck? I'm nice, the world need to know The comments on HipHopGame say "Honestly, he should blow" (Joell) All these meetings is lame, every one is the same (where we goin?) I pop in my demo and everyone goes insane Walk out the buildin, head higher than cocaine Only for me to never ever hear from them again (damn) That's why I contemplate puttin my pen away But I don't, cause muh'fuckers did the same shit to Jay (word) Coincidence? Nah, I don't believe in those Shit happens for a reason, if this was meant, I'll know What do I got to do Lord? My songs is tight (uh-huh) My shows is jam-packed, I'm hip-hop's anthrax (sick) Nobody can touch me but I'm still in the hood How could you leave me around danger when your boy's this good? Patience is a virtue but enough is enough By the time I get on I'll be too tired to celebrate Yeah I know I'm lyin, I'll wake up when I get that cake (ha ha) First thing I'll cop is a plane ticket and escape (fly) I don't care where, just far away from here (gone) Turn my phone off, unfold my beach chair and just stare (Look at this shit) Like hell yeah, life Told you we twinkle our toes in the sand that's white Last one to the ocean is weak And swim in the water that's clear enough to stand up and see your feet But that's only if, if "If" was a CEO We'd all have a deal (huh) we'd all sell a mil' (word) I'm talkin to underdogs who feel how I feel Well y'all can't feel how I feel, but you know what I mean Right now I can only write about the things I've seen Sounds sad but, I could fit that in a sixteen The furthest I've been was L.A. for a couple of days Can't front, the plane was smoother than the front of the train (ha ha) But anyway, everything ain't okay I'm tryin live for today, but tomorrow's a repeat of yesterday Same shit, different Pamper Another letdown, but they disguise it this time with a different answer The game's scared to gamble and they know I'm nice How you gon' double up yo' dough if you don't roll them dice? It's a 50/50 chance, but in my case, it's 99 to 1 (one) The one's what I'm gon' say when I'm done havin fun with these tracks Cause yes, it's so so easy Like readin the Good Book in a room with no TV No I'm not braggin, just a confident kid That ain't reapin the benefits he deserved for conquerin this This meanin the crowd (crowd) the art (art) Hip-Hop itself, I am +The One+, Neo is my son People, I'm from the bottom just like you If you ain't from the bottom, no offense but are not who I write to (nah) I'm the underdog's underdog, I love the odds (love 'em) Shorty feels so much better when the road was hard (ahh) I can't wait, literally I'm the epitome of what a real MC nigga should be Follow me (Joell Ortiz) Cooper Projects man, Williamsburg, Bushwick Green Point, Queens man, Corona man Elmhearst, anywhere on the BQE man That's mine man, Block Royal!