Hiatus

[Verse: Joe Budden] Two years, waits up, still sleep, wake-up Girl gone, break-up, mind right, cake up Friends came, friends left Bullshit is endless, been next Hip-Hop, really not impressed Maybe just my love died Sober, still above high Slugs fly, eyes sucked dry, still a thug cries I cried 'till I can't cry no more Believe my own nonsense, I can't lie no more Soul dead, breathless; I can't sigh no more Wheels already fell off, I can't ride no more I guess I pack up all of my belongings and just troop it You know it's beef when a smart nigga gets stupid Cause then it's justified, rationale nullified Steven shot 8 times, almost thought my brother died See he was raised different, I know his mother tried His arms tied, I'm trying to teach dude to touch the sky But still shorty wild, turned on by 40 Cals Was young, never saw me wild, clutch Robert Horry style No wonder I picked-up triggers to beef I only ever fist fought wit niggas bigger than me I never been the one to try and grab shit in my reach Incompliant, you have now witnessed the breach I feel like life is all written, understand my math Got on my knees, told God I had a plan, He laughed I mean... hours passed, no sleep, cowards get a slow leak Showered twice the whole week, powerless control freak Thinkin' about suicide, won't though I'm scrutinized Life nigga; do or die, hood want 'em crucified Jewelry on, fresh dressed, model broads excess Phone calls, death threats, tell me what's the next step What's what, who's who, paranoid as usual Grippin' on my deuce-deuce, either way a lose-lose All I need is one mic, razor blades, gun fights Room without no sunlight, understand son's plight If done right, won't seek and fail I don't follow the path, I'm creatin' my own to leave a trail It's no rhyme or reason nor reason or rhyme No more food for thought, shit deceasin' the mind Now they doubtin' my desire, second guessin' my fashion Like bringin' of weapons of mass in when you question my passion I live for this, not the Baguettes and the fame Got signed havin' an answer, then the question changed Sayin' Jump Off don't sound right is blasphemous downright I astound mics, music is just what feelings sound like So even though when I do it it's flames For a while felt like I was makin' music in vain We don't do it same, I use it for change Y'all do it for change, I use it for pain But keep doin' ya thang' Soundscan skyrocket Build all this hype 'bout it, prayin' people might cop it This is just my logic, maybe it's psychotic Though labels try to stop it this is my antibiotic So lemme' start doin' what dudes like A nigga in the booth feelin' fresher than some new Nikes Dawg, and I cruise like cruise control Fuck that! I can't do it, I might lose my soul Even though it should help a nigga to his goal Would defeat the whole purpose Naw, that ain't what Jers is Naw, that would be worthless Bars soundin' nervous A nigga much deeper than what you see on the surface I'd rather resort back to snatchin' purses Finally understanding what the gift and the curse is If I was more concerned about a purchase I would tell y'all it's about to go down like bird shit It takes courage, me versus urges A wordsmith that got caught-up in label merges And what's worse is, I been deserted in the circus Up-and-left the circuit, it's dead like hearses Sicker than them pedophiles workin' in them churches That ain't the type shit I deem fit for my verses Dawg, so lemme' help niggas understand Mouse Dawg, why try to fit in when you a stand-out? It's no album, but the money never ran out Aside from rap, I'm kinda' focused on land now. (You know?) Cause I don't know whurr' the game is I know we jus' been attacked by a Hurricane Chris Some niggas can't fathom what money and fame is Or some niggas get it by usin' they stainless Or some niggas get it, but they can't sustain it Me? I'm regular Joe, I don't let it change shit