Confessions

Have you ever felt so alone, in a room full of people that just admire you? / It's overwhelming to see the people all lie to you / I suck it up for the fact that I have to keep it movin' / And for my reasons, happiness ain't why I pursue it / I sit alone in my bedroom and wonder what I'm doin' / I think about the fans I'm gaining but the friends I'm losin' / I push away the people tryna get close to me / And try to reel in all the people who don't even know me / I have issues with trust, can someone please show me? / How to do it the right way, I'm fuckin' lonely / Never forget none of the words that she ever told me / Why everybody wanna hug me but nobody holds me? / I've lost a part of me to someone that I used to hate / It reminds me of the music that we used to make / Ironically I ended up not even bothered by it / Happiness was really close it was just hard to find it / Yeah, and to the girl that was a part of me / Thank you for everything but it's time you grew a part from me / I thought that everything we've ever been through / Would help you understand, but none of it don't mean shit to you / For that, I bid you adieu / Just remember all our shit together, I been through it too / Maybe life isn't as bad as it seems / Cause a nightmare eventually turns into a dream / In this rap game there's only one policy / Aim for the stars, and I never took astrology / Accept no apology, so much stress on top of me / Don't care bout what you do with them just please get it far from me / Since I was a kid, I seen my own death / No stress, lost in an alley, see my own breath / Mentally I'm lost, in my heart I'm feelin' hopeless / See my murderer just getting closer with the process / After everything I've learned / What I thought was spittin' fire I ended up getting burned / This music would cause me drama and shit that I didn't need / I'm starin' into the mirror and I don't know what I see / Confusion is a step into depression / You know it when you even start to question your reflection / I would desire attention and for affection / Until I say my confessions I'll never see my progression / You talk a lot but I don't understand your sentence / So I don't follow you, even if you try to mention / My name, you would keep it in your conversations / If we're really a team, where is the cooperation? / I live in Obama's Nation / People laughin' at me cause I'm an obamanation / No longer racin' for people who aren't chasin' / Their dreams, cause a nightmare is only what they're facin' / Been betrayed so many times I'm not a quitter / Cause revenge is only sweet if they betrayal tasted bitter / Fuck 'em all, none of 'em are friends to me / An old friend still can turn into your newest enemy / What the fuck you tellin' me? I ain't even listenin' / The truth hurts, it can leave the human heart cripplin' / The fact you was a long time friend / Told me what you're tryna start, I should really try to end / But to be honest you was a part of my game / To show me what I tell you, what you tell her, is it the same? / I'm paranoid of the people I even trust now / Used to give a fuck, but I don't give a fuck now / I never take my eyes off a bastard / Cause everyone will stab you only if you're facing backwards / And 2 people I know, they're the best wit it / I'll take the knife out of my back, stab ya chest wit it / Cause I don't need to betray you if I don't like you / You should worry bout what I'm doin', not what I might do / My trust is something easily abused / Cause it's hard to gain, and very easy to lose / But your betrayal's not what I predicted / They told me stay away from you, but I had resisted / A natural emotion lasts only 12 minutes / So that means that my depression is mostly self-inflicted / After 12 minutes, how you feel is what you wanna feel / Depression is my happiness, I just try to keep it real / I go to sleep every night cryin' my eyes out / Wondering when the fuck all the pain will ever die out / The eyes are the windows to the soul / So I always make sure that I keep my blinds closed / If I should really die / I'll be lookin' down from Heaven watchin' my funeral just to see who'd really cry / I'm glad y'all can witness greatness before the final stages / Life is a book I'm too scared to turn the pages / A dream is a wish that your heart makes / And a nightmare's the evil when your heart breaks / Been walkin' for too long in this dark place / And I never win, whenever I feel my heart / Always ended last in the hearts of many / But my music landed great in the hearts of plenty / Lord tell me, all this pain that you send me / Lemme know if all of my struggles will really help me / In the future, I been abused to the / Point that I don't know where is my sanity, I'm after peace / I treat all of my lyrics like a masterpiece / It's sad to see, somebody mad as me / Walkin' around livin' a life I should be grateful for / I look at life and say "it's them on why I hate you for!" / The demons in my dreams are chasin' after me / They follow me when I wake up I see 'em in reality / They ask me if I'm okay / I really don't want your condolence / I'm acting like I'm okay, don't interrupt my performance /