Addicted

[Verse 1] The more that I want it, the more that it haunts me With every single thought, every night it keeps taunting The monstrous monster inside me, reminding Of what I can't have in my hold It keeps winding and calling I can hear the echoes of the crying and sobbing Nothing can calm it, it's fighting Just fight it, and mosh it, and drive it to silence But it always finds a way to be heard through the sirens Never give up on it, advice from the wise Too bad my life has some different guidelines Everything I want, can never be mine No matter how much I fight, or how hard I try I see your eyes as we pass in the halls And I sink, in a second and I feel like I'm already on the brink Of destruction This sucks and, no one sees my pain What you think I like the rain? It washes the bloody veins It helps me clear my brain from All these fucking thoughts of the future That are destined to be left inside a box In the basement of my soul It's you I fucking want You're the only one I need, can't you see it? Did it knock? Why didn't you answer it? Why'd you leave me all alone? Don't you wanna have someone? Now I know you fucking don't I'm so cold, but I'll explode Kept it down for long enough Your heart's the fucking drug and I'm addicted to your love [Hook] They told me I could have any girl that I dreamed of They meant I could have anyone but you They said when I find her I'll know that it's real love But I'm still looking And I have no clue, I have no clue, I have no clue You were the one, but I can't have you I have no clue, I have no clue, I have no clue What I should do [Verse 2] I always seem to do this, use this senseless music When it's clearly in your eyes that you don't even give two shits How could I be so mother fucking stupid Why couldn't I see it? There was no point to do it But I did it, and I fell Lost it all and I'm in Hell Still fighting to get out, climbing up this wall of nails Bleeding everything that's left When I'm almost at the top I can see your blurry image telling me to never stop Nothing's clear, it's just a dream. You would never care for me I guess I want what I can't have, and it's oh so clear to see That I'm obviously alone, in a world that's growing cold With every day a new book, and another story told But the same idea remains, that I should never be happy Losing my grip on reality - poor fucking sad me I've invested time in this, not just this but everything Every single song I wrote, and every fucking phone ring With you on the other end Disconnected but still present Fuck my past, fuck my future, fuck this motherfucking sentence Like I'm cursed to be in prison, and in a cage of disappointment No one's getting close to me, my life is proving pointless If I could swap a few things Maybe switch it all or change it I would wish I never met you, and wish that I was famous Have a billion dollars so that I'm numb when all the pain hits I knew it would be rough, but I didn't think it'd be this blatant I'm done [Hook]