Santa's A Fat Bitch

Sleigh bells jingle-ling rin jing jingle-ling Horses, horses, horses, horses Sleigh bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling (gunshot) Santa Claus suck my balls Drunk as hell rinking bells at the malls Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, and Cupid I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh I sat around all night under the chimney Holdin my sack like "gimme gimme" I know that he's commin, he's commin he must Lookin up nuthin but rust, dust Turn on my tv the very next day I see your gettin payed Leadin the parade I'm that sniper on the buildin Listen to my nine go click, Santas a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch) Another year and I ain't get shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof (Ohh my undertaker) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Yeah I got somthin to say about St. Nick Fuck that ho he never brought jack shit No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal So I eat it, cuz there ain't nuttin in the cupboards So I'll be quick, quick and brief Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth I got my teeth, kicked out my mouth I need a few new ones could you help me out Should've known I guessed I'd show not a steak No kind of gift I didn't get shit Some say I was bad but that wasn't it It's all because, Santas a fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa fuck you cause you're a ho) Another year and I ain't got shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth "Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolph! Thats the ghetto! Ho-ho, those boys and girls don't deserve anything." Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been? I see you got cookies and milk on your chin I guess you had time to collect your ends You always been down for your rich friend But Rudolph, he don't bring his sleigh my way Nothing but dirt and coal for little J I guess you couldn't fit down my chimmney shaft You need to lose some of that fat ass, eh All the little rich boys they gettin paid Counting the toys and duckets they made Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit I'm a kill that fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch (He ate too much McDonald's) Another year and I ain't get shit (Mrs. Claus is a ho) If I hear him land on my roof (Slice that bitch in the big red coat) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth For the neighborhood Christmas and everythings whack Not a creature stirring but a fucking rat I ain't hearin jingle bells I ain't hearin nuttin Ain't smelling no turky sure as hell ain't no stuffing All that I paid, wished and prayed That fat motherfucker would swing my way Drop off soldiers and rubber balls But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers Just as I knew it shaft again, and again, and again, and again Every year I wake up to the same old shit....house There be no sign of the fat bitch Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus is a fat bitch) Another year and I ain't get shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof (If I hear him land on my roof) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus is a fat bitch) Another year and I ain't get shit (I ain't ge-et shi-it) If I hear him land on my roof (Ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth (record scratching) "He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile A bright red hat you can see for a mile A bag full of goodies and a great big grin Here comes Santa Claus again."