Lose One Friend

Watching your muscles ache from the stress in your back Waiting for bones to break from the weight of what you lack I would spend all my time helping you find truth And it really cuts like a knife knowing I can't save you Cause saying goodbye hurts the worst when you know it's the final word It comes across like a curse and I can't believe you said it first So now the final word on the final page Of the final chapter of this narrative we made Is my weak conscious whispering words through my mouth The very words that I prayed would never come out I kept clinging onto the past and hoped the future would be the same Cause we would cry and laugh knowing the past would not remain And I would argue with God, every night I would lie awake And lie to myself, hoping all of this was fake Cause I got a new perspective on general anesthetics When you finally went to see Jesus And all your family learned how to believe in a void Cause that's all that they could see in us Cigarette smoke and broken words My heart became the platform for everything they hated the most And I stayed clear of the lack Hoping somebody would come by and cut this rope Your apartment got so empty when you moved to that city with the streets of gold And now I know what you meant when you said this room can grow so terribly cold And I wrestled with the idea of taking your place But now I know that if anyone deserves a break from this world of pain It's you, it's not me And I'm still asleep It's not about being there for me, it's about respecting me enough To tell me why you're not So I'll just slip back into my sleep Cause there's a demon in my casket and I think that we've fallen in love And most nights, I wish it was you