Changes consume me

It's a terrible statement But I never let it leave my side That sickening realization That I'm done with this fight Moments kneeling on the bedroom floor Sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more I would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure A precipice a monologue questioning my every motive My disaster stricken heart feeling broken My emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase Taking the place of what was once your emotion Diluted with tears, an open book Scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I'm vocally shook And I'm tired of telling myself that it's gonna change Taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end Faulse-hoods predicted my sinners dictated my every decision An exit of sorts seemed logical Cause I thought I could silence this breath But contrary to my mindset I circumvented my threats to silence the demons Singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear That ending it all is a safe bet Comforting me as I try to manipulate my end Those moments when I decided I couldn't handle this anymore! Pins and needles infected every sensation I had left! Feeling like this love I had once found Had been torn open and left broken in the cold And the seams holding it together ripped open And my flesh tore open with that is I pray that my breathing would stop And as I held those staining memories I held on so tightly; remembering what life used to mean Selfishly ready to embrace the fact that I am weak! But then I called to you And I hoped someone would find me And I found you, and I had hoped someone would call me! Cause I'm listening to these echoes of my own voice Leaving damage in the cold As I feel I have finally grown to the point where I can snap A point of knowing I could never go back And it's in the moments I felt most alone That I told myself no one was there for me And little did I know, love with sitting right beside me I just wasn't listening At this point in my life I don't know many things But I can promise you this You are loved completely