Caliente Karlito

[Intro Skit] [Joe] What's goin' on Hot Karl, it's your A&R, Joe Weinberger [Karl] Hey, what's goin' on [Joe] Hey... CD's great, but there's something missing [Karl] What's that? [Joe] The Latin craze. C'mon, y'know, Santana...? Jennifer Lopez...? [Karl] But I'm not even Spanish, I don't know the language [Joe] Psh, artists. You know what? It doesn't matter. We're gonna give you the beat right here, you're just gonna kill it. Okay? [Karl] But... I don't even know Spanish! What am I doing with this? I... oh my. I'm gonna try this [Verse 1] Ah, okay, I know Latin music's hot and the label wants a hit But there's a problem: I don't know much Spanish So señorita, hit the speakers if you're feeling me I wanna come more Latin than Ricky Martin homo tendencies So I'm gonna keep on rappin' in Latin and give 'em platinum So my record gets paid and played in Puerto Rican parades Burn away advance, and hope to bring it tight, man While you're annoying, like Rosie Perez was your hype man I know I can, Hot Karl is the real papi chulo Come any closer, I'll stick my finger up your culo Yeah, I said it, you sound like bitches on the mic Your next concert should be VH1 Divas Live It's the gringo, brings it so muy grazioso Will not go [?] though, I'm anything but bilingual My single's for the barrios, not those in drunken stupors Like Mexican stormtroopers yelling "Drop my chalupas" [Hook] Caliente Karlito (¡Ak-ak-ak-a!) No comprendo español (¡Viva gordita!) Gringo acting Latino (¡Rico suave!) What a pendejo (What an asshole!) Ola, ola, ola (¡O, la vida loca!) Ola, ola, o (This is for La Raza!) Caliente Karlito (Pump up the rradio) Gringo pendejo (What? What?) [Joe] You're gettin' there, c'mon, get more pumped up... [Karl] I'm trying really hard... [Joe] I know, can you say "T.R.L."? "Desperado" "Antonio Banderas"? C'mon baby, get with it [Karl] Alright, I'm gonna try one more time, 'k? Listen [Verse 2] Yo, doesn't it bother you hearing me molest this language? Right now I bet you're wishing Fat Joe was the one who sang this But it's Karl, I'm just gonna help hump your rear end Cause I know you ain't getting action like Jessica Simpson's boyfriend I'm just trying to find an ID like white kids on [Verondo Street?] So let me [?] toda la noche (Karl, you just said you'll be rocking me all night long!) Fuck! I thought I said "I'm trying to learn Spanish to rap this song" No matter the language, don't attack the champion You beating me rapping, that's like Jim Abbott clapping I'm trying so hard to speak Spanish up in my flow Sounding ridiculous like [?] music videos I'm busting Latin flavor and for a white boy, that's tricky So eat your heart out: Enrique, Marc, Ricky So silencio, and be quiet like you supposed ta You talk 'bout being dope but y mañana otra cosa [Hook] Caliente Karlito (I just want Cinco de Mayo!) No comprendo español (Edward James Olmos!) Gringo acting Latino (This is for [?]) What a pendejo (What an asshole!) Ola, ola, ola ("La Bamba", Richie Valens!) Ola, ola, o (¡Mi mamacita!) Caliente Karlito (¡Ak-ak-ak-ai!) Gringo pendejo (¡No comprende!) [Joe] Alright, it's definitely not working, this Spanish thing isn't for you [Karl] I've been trying... [Joe] Alright. Last verse in English, alright? [Karl] I get to kick this in English? [Joe] Kill it! Do your thing [Karl] Perfect! Listen to this, I'm going to rip it right here... check this [Verse 3] Even my mic check is doper than your whole compact disc And my message is positive like Whitney Houston urine test For real though, a rapper who looks like Elvis Costello I always reach the top and you come up short like Willow You? Better than me? (C'mon!) What are you joking? Everything that you record sounds like ??? karaoke You can't smoke me, you have no clue what I'm about You ain't doing shit like A.C. Green in a whorehouse You have lyrics? Sure, and DJ Quik ain't dissing Dre Serious, I get busy like Kelly Price at a buffet My mission is to kick you straight out of the rap game Have you doing classic cuts with College Boyz and MC Brains But some still show hesitance, my style's against they preferences Too random of references loaded in every sentences They groovin' Daisy Fuenteses, baby I'm out of sight So with all of my might I choke players like Bobby Knight So señorita, I want that hook lasting for days It's Hot Karl's cheap attempt to cash in on the Latin craze! [Hook] Caliente Karlito (Elián González!) No comprendo español (Margaritas and Coronas!) Gringo acting Latino (This is for federales!) What a pendejo (What an asshole!) Ola, ola, ola (Spring Breakers in Cancún) Ola, ola, o (Donkey Show in TJ!) Caliente Karlito (A Lighter Shade Of Brown!) Gringo pendejo (What? What?) Caliente Karlito (For my high school spanish teacher!) No comprendo español (and Mellow Man Ace!) Gringo acting Latino (Cheech Marin and Paul Rodriguez!) What a pendejo (...yo!) Ola, ola, ola (Por favor mucho agua) Ola, ola, o (Mi amore big chichis) Caliente Karlito (Who am I kidding?) Gringo pendejo [Joe] That's the hit right there...