Opium

(oh ok.... Oh yeaaa... right there... I'm out of toothpaste.... I gotta.. blow... I gotta blow into the toothpaste and fill it up with water.... and then shake it, back and forth...) Firewater I wield the Ichabod Mortimer, Midnight marauder, Corner store loiterer, Dark corridor voyager, Baccalaureate fangoria, Poet laureate, Pre-historian, Stegasaurian, Horny-ish, I mean triceratopsian', Topsy-turvy My duds stained dried-blood burgundy, I make cuts like surgery, Certainly, It's all first person, personally I make Hercules run like Mercury, I make Mercury, rise... (You don't remember Ichabod Mortimer?... Oh yeaaa, Bill Cosby had the... chubby... pen...picture pages?...) Mirror, mirror, Who's the fairest food shopper in the fine fair?, Or the illogical warfare for mademoiselles and mon frères?, I can't fail, I don't feel no feaaar, yeaaaahhh yeehahh, When the Hawks spit toxic hot spittle, I hold you like a hostage in a hospital, Trot Nix in socks, Syllables, in-hospitable All attempts are few or futile, Don't get confused with my short fuse and your funeral, And that's irrefutable (Does Trot Nixon still play for the Sox?... I don't uh, I don't have, uh, ESPN anymore... I have ESPN2 so I get to watch Skip Bayless. Everyday. Skip Bayless. That's all I watch...) I'm not a dentist, I just brush a lot, I eat muff a lot, NOT! Though I have in the past and might in the future, Set roofs on fire I'm despised by roofers I do the Kama Sutra, A super kind of tune coming through my bazooka, Man dudes like duke nuclear, I'm Duke Nukem (Duke Nukem... that video game), Switch the start at your ending, It's based on the pretext that you're all pre-tending, Keep talking about your bad temper, It's mad tempting. Rec execs, be attentive, I find it hard to comprehend why honorable men only get honorable mentioned... And I present you with the present tense, reinvented...Funky and heaven sent, will make it heaven-scented.. (Heaven-scented? Heaven-scented.) Welcome to the Opium Lounge, (neeeeeeeeew) Please find yourself a seating area (neeeeeeeewwwww), (What is that? Is that a plane?) Treat yourself to the finest, (It's bugging me out man) (neeeeeeeeeww neeeeeeeew) Duhhhnananahh