Open Letter to Neymar (an Eminem 'Stan' parody)

Dear Neymar, I wrote to you but you still aren't responding I left my Skype, my email, and my LinkedIn at the bottom. I sent two letters back in April, you mustn't have got them. There may have been a problem with the translation or something. On occasions my secretary transcribes my dictations incorrectly. In any case: sod that, how are you? How's the old vertebra? I'm going to adopt a poor favela boy, and be a remote sponsor. And guess what. I'm going to call him for the good of the game? I'm going to name him 'Jogo Bonito'. I read about your noation's socio-economic problem, I'm sorry. I had a friend whose second home had dry rot, so a similar story. I know you probably hear this a lot, but I'm your fondest admirer. I've even seen YouTube footage of you at Portuguesa Santista. I've got a room full of your posters and your pictures, old boy. I like what you've done with the game we invented; it's such a joy. Anyway, I hope you get this chap, répondez s'il vous plaît, Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan This is Winter.