Disappearing Act

I'm distracted not attracted You attach without connection As I self serve my diffracted mind I don't want what I need I don't care about the scars I leave Your name and smile a thrown out file As soon as we break away Only when I hate you do I really love myself I will only let you down I can only fail you You won't want me then I'll want you When you come back I won't want you Pushed and pulled our minds will rip in two I'm so scared of what I need I don't care About the scars received I live in self denial I'm afraid of what I've got I don't know why I hate you when you love me My life's the lies of you and i I've grown so hard that I deny accusations even When they're true My pain is all I trust I don't care How much I bleed Don't regret the time you met me Don't hold the harm I did against me I don't know why I want to hurt you When you touch me Why do you stick around and let me do this? Why do you stick around for this torture? Only when I'm with you do I want to be without Your eyes are the windows To the emptiness inside me