In Case I Don't Make It

To whom it may concern I'm the kid who you never listened to in your class Sitting in back, I write I have tried, to make friends They only act nice until somebody see me with them Saying take your headphones off How can we get to know each other if we never talk? Fuck it, teacher gon take em anyway And last day of school they gon turn up lost But she don't even offer to pay for them Third year of summer school they want me to stay Again, I feel sick from the food The NTA's move, I'mma slip from the room I feel better roamin' the halls I don't know the reason though I reckon there's a cause Maybe it's because I feel alone and lost And my home life's cut from the same kind of cloth Every once in a blue, my dad calls Someway, I wanna say I love him, but feel nothing In the face of regret, so quick to say he want to change a step But ain't done what he claimed yet, it's dumb I might be his son, but that fight's over and done He made that choice when I was six, lookin' in my face drunk Sayin' he ain't even want kids What a bitch, I didn't deserve that I dipped Kevin everyday in my first class He on the football team a senior He punched me my first day and chipped my teeth up I hate him, can't shake him Shoulda hit him, just didn't Could it be I'm a sheep among wolves Girls see me as weak and uncool And I see them as cheap and uncouth So we evenly each be unmoved Truth is, they don't know me inside If she want to be my homie, I'll be open to try It's not physical, I just wanted you to be Civil enough to let me sit with you, I'm not invisible I say hi every time and you never reply If shit flies don't be surprised If I die just remember I tried If I don't just remember my hopes Is this an unfunny joke or a suicide note? You never know