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I took her off the showroom floor no money down Near the Chrysler building in the heart of Midtown 200 horse-power under the hood Junk in the trunk very far from damaged goods Designer frames with windshields that stay tinted The most beautiful thing someone invented Her wrangler had a sticker on the bumper A sign in case tow trucks tried to dump her Rear view mirror that of Serena William Staring was a crime then the look, kill 'em Brushless showers and the Brazilian wax Cash in the glove compartment free from tax Low mileage on the odometer Graduate with more degrees than a thermometer Spark plugs for great conversation She would focus on the finish line and destination Steering in the right direction Made sure I wore seat belts had air bags for protection In her tank she loved to stash my tool I kept her full, super-unleaded fuel She had a room full of skirts and rims The old ones used to swing off ropes that often hung from limbs A temp at the Ford modeling agency Suburban area where the Caucasians be Her great-grandfather was a Cherokee Indian Explorer and navigator traveling then begin Sharpening his arrows on Plymouth Rock Commander-in-chief who raise cattle on the selling of livestock King of the frontier, rider of thoroughbreds He was just as sharp as a needle without thread Legend in truth but known to run the herd His sons were oldsmobiles who drank thunderbird Land cruisers sitting on fertile soil With equipment that ran off expensive oil Folks bragging said the horse pulled a Volkswagen They love mustang sally and lollygagging Fished in Lake Tahoe cooked the barracudas Hunted impalas with the six-shooters From a long range with the dog Rover It was something else to see 'em knock them over [Verse 2] Some got caught in the crossfire Bunch of rabbits indicating these dudes should retire One was going bald rocking a sunroof A gas guzzler in his grill was one tooth A strong accent, and a beard like Lincoln Who hated the golf course, but he loved drinking Avenger, used to pick up chicks Had magnums that were ram tough but thick He wore blazers where he used to hide the Ruger For encounters with the jaguars and cougars A veteran who could salute and sing the anthem In accord with the plan he was the phantom He had a fat lady they called hummer And umm, she needed body work the whole summer She had a few friends who used to stay in a pound Abandoned the parking lots, and junk yard bound Regulars in rest areas and truck stops Cassette players, known to make the tape pop Gold diggers who on the cream like Wells Fargo In Vegas, they circle around the Monte Carlo You know the snakes with the fangs and vipers Bloodsuckers who all used to piss from diapers Met the Cavaliers at the Outback steakhouse Chicken cutlets supreme just for takeout One of them was forced to live in Astoria Cause at the auction, they had crowned victoria Since then her friends charged her battery Had her running off with the sweets of flattery She kept a loud muffler, couldn't trust her Police used to always pull over this duster A pothead who some called a firebird A foul mouth, who could have used wiser words Her man used to hustle and ran a crack corner So insecure he kept LOJACK on her Creeping with his visors low, high-beaming Temper would accelerate, private eye scheming He would check her consoles for rubbers She would pass the inspection with flying colors She would turn left if he said right On her cycle, he would often run red lights His voiced echoed as she dodged the convo -----"PROTOOLS"----- Her previous owner, all he did was bone her Some drove her crazy, she was just a loner He had her leaking transmission fluids Said it was an accident, didn't mean to do it No insurance with her grill decayed She sobbed uncontrollably, still stayed Another total eclipse of the heart Like the freezing weather that never gave her a start Plus he had a sidekick in his garage And if he needed a boost, she would give him a charge He was sentenced for running an escort service Escaped from prison but made a few nervous His baby mother had wifed a BMW Number one on the list, so he brought trouble to She done everything to regain her liberty Tried to be outty, but went into delivery Moved to Aspen, survived a avalanche A different element, inside a fatter ranch Far away, when she changed the pattern The distance was like from Mercury to Saturn