Sloppy Love Jingle

PART 1 (Roll Sloppy Love Jingle Sequence 1. Action!) Bartender! "Yeah I hear your wise ass, give me a minute." I'm trying to get this round over here "What do you think I'm just working for you here?" Actually, will you, will you send a drink, to the lady at the end of the bar? Yeah that one right there "Here you are miss." Yeah, yeah. It's on me. Tell her it's from Travie "It's from this guy over here." From the second she shimmied in I was intrigued by her essence And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt Simple and plain I'm probably jumping the train But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt Hit the pause button Damn! I don't even know this girl And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothings But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken, heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe (pussy) I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve But that night the Jagermeister had my sleeves rolled up Wait a minute, hold up I think she caught me grillin' now I'm spillin' my drink (don't look don't look) I knew our feelings were in sync so now she gave me the wink The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary, average Romeo A Cyrano de Bergerac (shut the fuck up) In fact, I remember back in fifth grade I tried to read the book of love, but sadly The introduction didn't grab me So I left it on the shelf and kept moving Assuming that this planet rotates I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soulmate Who would've thunk I would be pissy ass drunk when time came for collision So I made the decision to just keep my composure (cool cool) Until she started getting closer And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder, and then I Slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love The minute that she stepped in the door The type of girl I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for To me she equaled MC squared and everything else was mathematics I never took the time to practice PART 2 (I think we're ready for eh, the second installment of the Sloppy Love Jingle. Roll it. Action!) Ok, continued What's next upon the menu? Hmm, maybe I should crack a joke Attack and ask her if she smokes Cause I can't seem to find my matches And that could break the ice but I'm a bad actress with three lighters I acquired the previous night And there I was do or die She was approximately five feet away from my frame So I decided to take a stride, swallow my pride, tellin' her my name like Hello miss, my name is Travis Just a ordinary cat, I'm into art and fuzzy rabbits, kinda smart with a big heart, you can have it See you find that funny I'd love to buy you a drink but I got bent and spent my money But would you kindly accept a raincheck Perhaps some deep chit chat She didn't think twice, nodded her head and said "I'm with that" By the way do you have some matches? She's like, "no, but there's a lighter right in front of you" And now we both giggling This girl's so crazy, got my gullet jiggling Fiddling with my feelings like an out of tune piano Like I'm on ritalin The way she's got my undivided attention dismissin' any thoughts of lettin' this one get away PART 3 The bombs been detonated I'm just waitin' for an explosion, I was just waitin' on 2nd and it was time for me to close in on 3rd With blurred vision and in, precisely placed slurred words we started kissin' Man listen, it was like a scene from a very bad B movie with a very low budget But fuck it, I was drunk and I admit I loved it Every last second, I couldn't kill that thought of us butt ass naked Tele' surfin' with the fan on, chattin' about the session and, slowly gettin' into some closet skeleton confessions That's when, she made a offer that I couldn't refuse And chills went up and down my legs like Samoan tattoos She said she had a pad that wasn't too far away, and said she'd love if I stayed 'til the following day So it was time to exit stage left, I made my rounds, gave my pounds and hugs, gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath And now we're walkin' to the door but, right before we stepped outside she bought me one more And now I'm feelin' it, I had my had down my pocket but she's stealing it With our fingers in a locket and as we're walkin' down Exchange Street, with Our hearts pitter pattering to the same beat And then she popped the question like "Trav, you evah been in love?" I'm like "pshhh not that I recall" Well there was one situation, but I didn't have the patience, or the balls to say it and everytime I tried I just digitally delayed it And it sounded like something blah blah blah blah, man my speach impetement left my heart vacant without a single resident The first tenant got evicted the second she settled in, I seen her the other day riding my bike and kept peddlin' If it wasn't for meddlin' kids would love even exist nope, if it wasn't for alcohol would I even be saying this nope She probably took offense, I probably started gettin' sober cause she started gettin' ugly and I think probably told her Then my feet got heavy, I started drippin' sweat, knew I was gettin' into something I'd probably regret Right when I lit the cigarette I caught a case of the spins, and started wishin' I was still at the bar with my friends And then it happened, I fell flat on my face When I awoke I found I was in a very strange place I must've got my wish granted cause I was butt ass naked, but the only downside was that the room was very vacant Except next to the bed there was this note on the dresser, while I'm tryin' to deal with this hangover head pressure With a smile I grabbed the note, lit a smoke and sat back, "Dear whoever, lose my number P.S. the sex was wack"