Nitro-Burnin' Funny Bong

[Verse 1] Ahhh...sweet youth The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked On the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit [Chorus] Let's go hit the Nitro-burning funny bong Just one hit, your life goes wrong Nitro-burning funny bong Another stupid stoner song [Verse 2] Fat and lame The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed By a bong, and a schlong Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees A swarm of narcotics could get me through this My manager's going to be pissed [Chorus] [Verse 3] Oh, can you take it Yeah, do a monster Oh, can you deal with it? We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys Now I'm old Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold In the twilight of my years I am still a drug addict I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong Moistened with lotion Wrapped in a sarong I live like a king But you know that I act like a faggot Once was a warrior, now just a sponge High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge My glorious destiny it turned to shit [Chorus] Can I get another hit? From the Nitro-burning funny bong Just one hit, your life goes wrong Nitro-burning funny bong Another stupid stoner song [Outro] Oh, can you take it Yeah, do a monster Oh, can you deal with it? We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys